Locked Out

Monday, November 5, 2007
Finding yourself locked out of your favorite places is a bit on the annoying side. If you live in an apartment, not getting to the leasing office in time to pick up your package is annoying. What office in their right mind is only open until 5? Don't they know people work well past 5 these days? Locking yourself out of your apartment or your car is extremely frustrating. It's even worse when you can see the keys sitting on the car set or dangling in the ignition -- it gets me worked up just thinking about it!

However, I can think of another time that puts all these to shame -- when your boyfriend locks you out of your bedroom. Yes, in this instance I'm using the pronoun "your" to describe my space.

After watching Michael Symon kick ass on the Next Iron Chef, the B.F. wanted to continue to watch "Iron Chef America." No, I was going to watch Brothers & Sisters -- I love that show. He gets up and heads off into my room and I hear the door make a clicking sound.

I continue to lay on the couch and about 20 minutes later decided it was time to lay in bed and watch the rest of the show.

The bastard locked me out! He wouldn't open the door. So, like the adult that I am, I started gently throwing myself against the door and beating on it at 10:30 at night (our neighbors probably love us).

Me: Seriously, open the door, I want to lay down.
B.F.: No.
Me: Unlock my door now.
B.F. Until you understand the fact that this isn't "yours," I'm staying in here and you can sleep on the couch or in the other bedroom. Everything you need is outside where you are.

This childish banter went on the for the next half hour. He opened up and slid my cell phone at me in case I wanted to call anyone. Then I complained that I needed my contact stuff and toothbrush and the jackass put that outside the door for me.

Finally, after I bitched enough, he unlocked the door and was laying there smirking like he had just won some prize. Maybe he was getting me back from all those times I locked him out of MY bedroom? Just maybe.


Joanna M said...

You two need your own reality TV show!