Run far away, boys

Wednesday, November 7, 2007
After browsing through my Google reader and my usual stops of magazines like Allure and Cosmo, I nearly spit up my Coke Zero when I saw this headline, "Make him propose."

My first blunt thought was, if you are trying to make a guy propose to you, he's probably the wrong guy. But, if that is said and so easily done, then the authors of "He's Just Not That Into You" wouldn't have landed a book deal, a guest spot on Oprah or that ridiculous TV show he now has. (I think it's on Oxygen. I caught it on Saturday afternoon I believe. I'm lame even admitting that.) In college, a roommate's mom sent us the book after she saw it on Oprah. We would read through it, laugh and couldn't possibly fathom doing that pathetic stuff (Not me of course). I think we would even refer to it in our late-bar drunkenness because it was great material.

But I'm digressing from my original thought about forcing guys to propose. No wonder girls get a bad rep! It makes complete sense why guys or Narm think we are nutcases.

After reading all seven click-throughs of this article, there are tons of excerpts I could link to or disagree with but this got me the best. I think this made my jaw drop the most out of everything that I just read.

"The Art of the Ultimatum: Three times when it might pay to nudge him a bit"
He Has a Legit Excuse
If you really think the two of you click but he’s stalling because he’s temporarily focused on something else, like finishing grad school, give him a firm deadline (e.g., till he reaches his goal).
He Needs to Rethink His Priorities
Say he’s a jock and you hate sports, but he wishes you had that in common. Is it so important to him that he’s willing to risk losing you? (Note: If the answer is yes, you don’t want him anyway.)
He’s Chronically Indecisive
Some guys are reluctant because they can’t make a decision. He’s not afraid of committing to you; he’s just afraid of committing. If that sounds like your man, he might need prodding to get off the proverbial fence. Just tell him that you want him to be in your life, but if he can’t make a decision in the next couple of months, you’ll have to move on. Warning: If you issue an ultimatum, you better be prepared to stick to it.

I pretty much rolled my eyes the entire time I skimmed all seven click-throughs of this story. If you are "nudging" your B.F. to see a chick flick versus Saw 4, then I can understand that nudging or dragging him to the theater makes sense. However, if you're "nudging" your B.F. to make a life-long commitment, then you are going to be nudging for one long ass time.

My advice (that I stole from my dad): Try building relationships with guys who want to be with you all the time, not just when their friends aren't available or they have nothing better to do.

Ta dah! I just saved you years of therapy! Thank me with a comment.

4 comments:

Narm said...

I agree - if you have to FORCE someone to propose, the chances of it working out can't be great. I can understand giving little hints or trying to get a guy used to the idea, but setting an ultimatum? What a great engagement story! "Oh it was so romantic, he even had 15 minutes to spare! He's such a sweetheart!"

Allison M. said...

Narm,

I completely agree. "Oh I only had to hold the gun to his head for 6 minutes until he made the decision."

Allison

Anonymous said...

HI ALLISON, FIRST TIME I READ YOUR BLOG...PRETTY GOOD I MUST ADMIT...THOSE YEARS OF WATCHING SEX AND THE CITY PAYED OFF I SEE! HAHAHA
-DENISE

Hot Coffee Girl said...

Nudge him a bit?! Yikes.

Is there a chapter that follows, "Forget to Take Your Birth Control: The Trap that Pays Off." ?!