Posting hangover

Friday, December 28, 2007
I officially have writer's block. No, not really. It's called "I've-had-a-million-things-to-do-that-have-been-stressing-me-out" mode. But, with that said and holidays almost over, I should be back with witty commentary about life with the B.F. I'm heading this weekend to Rochester to visit his extended family. This, let me tell you, is one big first for me.


Almost as big as the 'rents meeting.

Post-it Thermostat

Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Told ya. It's still up.

Mystery solved -- boys don't talk for a reason

I think I've found god. Well, not really, but I found a guy who has enough sarcasm and truth that I was laughing out loud when the B.F. forwarded this link about men and communication with women. The title of his e-mail was "READ AND COMPREHEND IT." Is he trying to tell me something? Well, after reading the article, it all makes sense. I've found an opening into how men communicate versus how women communicate, which is much more eloquently and common then men.

According to Dave Zinczenko, editor in chief at Men's Health, guys want time to decompress when they come home from work, take a minute for themselves by eating something and hanging out in the bathroom with an exhilarating magazine. Thinking back, I think I do ask a million questions right off the bat and then wonder why he doesn't answer them to the level I want. (Note to self: I'll have to pull back on that.)

For all you ladies who are questioning the length of your relationship, look no further than your conversations with your B.F. God, er Dave says,

"And when men do talk, they'd prefer to talk about actions rather than emotions. For instance, a lot of guys would choose to express their long-range faith in a relationship by talking about next summer's vacation plans, not by launching into a soliloquy about undying love."

I would be extremely uncomfortable if the B.F. launched into a poem of his undying love for me. I'd probably laugh out of complete nervousness. (Editor's note: I'm not very into the lovey-dovey shit that you see in Hollywood's finest films like The Notebook or The Last Kiss. I'm more comfortable falling over how damn good looking Ryan Gosling is than what he's actually saying. We all know that stuff looks great on film but rarely happens in person. I mean, how often do you see your ex in the paper, run home to him, he's still single and waiting for you? Yep, never.)

With that said, it's interesting example Dave gave to show a man's true feelings toward a relationship. Way back when, the B.F. invited me on a vacation with his family and extended family to Cancun. I thought he was shit balls crazy because we had literally started dating -- I mean, we might have been seeing each other exclusively for a month. That's it. Needless to say, I never actually went. I made up excuses that I didn't have money, it would be awkward because I didn't know everyone, and, I think I even used the "I don't have enough time to get a passport" one.

In retrospect, it would've been one hell of a vacation. From now on, I'll try and remember to concentrate on his actions and not so much the amount of words he's not saying.

Hot in here

Tuesday, December 18, 2007
In our apartment, the fact that it's extremely below normally cold in the master bedroom is my biggest complaint. It's our biggest fight. I'm all about it being cooler in the apartment. However, when my hands are ice cold because it's 59 degrees in the bedroom, I think that qualifies as a little more than ridiculous.

(Editor's Note: It took me a lot longer to figure out that the master will be colder than the rest of the apartment because it's farthest away from the heater. I kept jacking up the heat hoping to push it back to the bedroom.)

So, in efforts to keep me away from the thermostat, the B.F. posted a post-it next to it. I've taken it down several times. He continues to paste it back up there. For a while, I thought he was somehow shutting the vents in the room to secretly have a laugh at my expense. Nope. Untrue. Apparently because we are on the first floor with two walls facing the outside with freezing cold temps, I'm going to have to suffer through this winter.

Let me back and up and say I'm not a fan of sleeping in multiple layers of clothes. With our current heating situation, I'm being forced to wear layers of clothing. Back in high school, I remember reading an article in Cosmo explaining how you will sleep better in just underwear, or better yet, completely naked. Because you don't have a tank top, T-shirt or pants pulling at you through the night, you will enjoy a better night's sleep. It works. You should try it.

So today as we are both getting ready for work and this pops on. I hear him say, "They should call me in on as an expert." According to the Today Show, 75% of men prefer it to be colder than women in the bedroom. Great. I get it. I prefer it a little cooler, too. Just not at 59 degrees. How about 62? I'll settle at 62 degrees.

I'm just hoping I don't get an electric blanket for Christmas.

Shopping for that special someone

Monday, December 17, 2007
Gifts, gifts and more gifts. The B.F. and I went shopping on Saturday at the busiest mall ever, right before a mild snow storm. I didn't write down a list. Maybe that was my first problem. I thought I'd glide through stores, see something that caught my eye and grab it, gift wrapped and all. Nope. Not even close. I became confused, blinded and started to get a headache. What if they don't like it? Does she have something like this? Shit. M.A.C or NARS? There's so much pressure to buy your friends and family the perfect gift. I don't like giving gift cards -- I'd rather have you return it. Opening a gift is half the fun! Take the B.F. for example. For the past year and a half, I've bought Christmas and birthday gifts. Now, has he liked everything? Ummm. Well, not necessarily. I loved the light purple shirt, but he thought it was a little progressive -- even for him. (Seriously, the kid wears a light pink shirt. The purple shirt was on sale and in the general realm of pink, so I thought it was a shoe-in. I was shot down.)

I really want to achieve that great look. The look that goes something like this: "OMG, this is most perfect gift. How did you know?" I strive to achieve the really, really genuine how-did-you-know expression.

I didn't pull off the look or even buy anything. I got so irritated with the people in Sephora and every other store. Mostly because women were stopping, talking and carrying on long conversations in front of doorways, Starbucks line and other high-traffic areas. Why not! Because that almost makes sense. The worst is when both have strollers and you politely say, "excuse me," but they can't hear you. It's hopeless. Then you try and squeeze yourself between both strollers -- never works.

FYI -- I'm one of those women who avoids having conversations in congested areas. Don't get me wrong, I'll blatantly carry on a conversation with a long-lost college friend in the mall. I just try to not piss off the rest of the shoppers when we are shoulder to shoulder in a jam packed mall.

Bah humbug.


Still, I need to shop for a few select people.

Meeting of the minds...eventually

Tuesday, December 11, 2007
It comes a time in every relationship where you take it to your "next" level. Now, the word "level" means something different to every person. For example, the concept of living together is big to some and small to others. Buying a dog, taking a vacation alone and meeting the parents are all levels within the relationship. Last but not least, there is the ultimate level -- introducing the parents to one another. (Insert dramatic music here.)

It hasn't happened yet, but it's well on its way at this point. Both sides are inquiring. Since we are in no way, shape or form on our way to getting married, I really don't have any particular interest in pulling the trigger. (I always associate the meeting of the parents after more important levels are achieved in the relationship... like a proposal. )

So, to take it off of my plate, I'm leaving it up for the B.F. to arrange and coordinate schedules. However, I think when it does happen, I should bring along a camera because I'm sure it will be interesting, especially if there's alcohol involved.

Hide the presents

Sunday, December 9, 2007
I'm terrible at surprises. I like and hate to be surprised at the same time. Last year, my friends pulled off the greatest surprise party -- I was fooled. I was completely surprised. And, let me tell you how many lies they must've had going to get it past me. They were so impressed with themselves that they were that great of liars for a month or so. Should I be concerned?

Anywho, I'm a snoop. Even as a child, I would search through my parents' closet for my birthday gifts. One year, I specifically remember finding a Barbie doll and She-Ra dolls I wanted -- I acted completely surprised of course. What can I say? I just wanted to know what I was getting. This, leads me to present day. I'm still a snoop.

Since the B.F. and I are living together now, he's going to have get creative with hiding and wrapping presents so I can't peek into them. He already made his first mistake. He showed me a box from Saks -- more or less teasing with me it. Jackass. Don't you know that fuels my fire even more now? I'd recognize that wrapping even when I'm blind with thick glasses and I'm 90--who can resist the snowflakes with the red bows.

Only 15 more days -- I can't wait. I'll try not ruin it this year. Really.

Painting -- check!

Monday, December 3, 2007
This past Saturday, the B.F. and I braved a joint project -- the painting of three walls. We both agreed that painting the entire apartment would be a huge job and one we didn't want to redo when it came time to move out. With that said, we decided to paint three accent walls to bring some color into our drab apartment. We are getting there. Slowly adding fixtures, decorations and new furniture. After this month, we should be well on our way to having an updated, Crate & Barrel-looking apartment with a new TV and stand. Who knows. We might even go crazy and add a new kitchen table to the place after we buy everyone on our list a present.

Before we even got started and before he laid down the drop cloth, he made me take an oath. Yep, that's right. An oath to not spill, splatter, throw or drip paint on the carpet or ceiling. It even started out with me raising a hand and reciting, "I, Allison M., will not get paint on the wall, ceiling...blah blah." You get the point.

He had to do the edges first to make sure I didn't get any paint over the tape he meticulously taped up. So while was he was doing the edges, I'd try and paint but he'd tell me to wait or "Allison, give me a minute to finish this. " Oh, I gave him a minute. I gave him like 20 as I looked up holiday decorations on the Internet and blasted my new favorite Britney Spears song from the computer. I did participate in our group project. Although, every time I was moving faster than him, I had to wait to move the drop cloth underneath where I was working to not "drip" any paint from the brush.

For your information, I didn't get paint on any of the walls. But the B.F. managed to have an "accident" on the ceiling with the roller and a small splatter on one of the other walls when he was painting the edges. Maybe I should have him take an oath next time.

Survival of the fittest

Will your relationship make it through this holiday season? Is it worth it? These seem to be questions pondered by both parties as the season hits us in the next few weeks. Do you want to spend money on the girl/guy? How much are they worth? Do you look bad if you don't spend the same amount on each other? Are you outdoing one another in the gift exchanging?

In the past, I've generally always found myself trying to out do the person. Spend that much extra time or get that more expensive gift. Maybe I was making up in gifts what was lacking in the relationship?

Leaving the future of my love life up to IVillage, I sent this quiz to a few of my friends and took it as well. What a mistake that was! My friend Erica said, and I quote, "For the record, whoever made up that quiz should switch careers." Well said. But, I think it still brings up a good point (at least for the 25 seconds it takes you to get through it) to look at your own relationship and see where your areas of improvement lie. With everyone's busy schedules, it's easy to get wrapped up in our own lives and forget about our significant other.

So as a relationship expert (or at least someone who thinks they are) here are some ideas to reconnect with your significant other:
Maybe a surprise getaway like Mel tookwith her B.F.
Pick a movie the other person likes for movie night
A couples massage or spontaneous back rub
Drive-in
Go out with the other person's friends
A nice handwritten card (Yes, they still sell those)



OK --my Oprah moment has passed.