Dinner talk

Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tomorrow I'm getting my hair cut. Only girls can understand the idea of "growing out your hair" -- guys can't. So, I've been trying to grow out my hair or at least get away from the constant short hair I've had forever (see picture).

Well, I can't really stand it anymore. My hair is heavy, feels waxy and takes forever to dry. So, I'm pretty sure I'm going to cut an inch or two off.

But, I ask a few people for their opinion and everyone thinks it looks fine. I ask the BF tonight as we are eating take out for dinner.

BF: Let's watch Batman Begins tomorrow night.
Me: I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow and won't be home until later.
Me: What do you think of my hair? Should I cut it or leave it? (Thinking he'd be able to give me some advice and an honest opinion.)
BF: Just don't cut it too short because it could make your butt look big.
Me: What the F! How can cutting your hair short do that?
BF: I'm just saying. Sometimes when girls cut their hair their ass looks big.

Just laugh. That's all I did.

Pittsburgh brides are crazy

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Someone is punking me. Are they serious?

This couple had a newlywed brawl the night of their wedding. Holy shit that is awesome and slightly disturbing all at the same time. She left in her wedding dress! How embarrassing!

The BF and I don't get into too big of fights in public. I tend to talk pretty loud, and yell even louder, so I can understand if someone mistakes my "talking" for "fighting."

Awhile back I made the BF watch the Lifetime movie where DJ from Full House plays Fred Savage's girlfriend. He's the wrestler and she's the not-so-popular younger girl that decides to date. (There is a point here. I promise.) Anyway, I refused to change the channel and the BF stayed in the room commenting on how stupid the movie was. Well, I know he was at least paying attention to part of it, because when we are in public places, he imitates part of the movie. He pretends to grab my neck and say "You said we'd be together forever."

OK. Now. This is funny to me. However, if you just see a guy do this in the middle of a store or say the grocery store, you are going to look twice at them. No, he's not abusing me. It's just his sick humor.

Lesson learned -- watch Lifetime by myself and don't get arrested on your wedding night.

Shame on you says the scorned woman

The bitch is back. Again. Only this time, it doesn't look like she's in the apartment that her husband is evicting her from. Apparently, putting skim in her husband's cappuccino is grounds for a divorce.

She's not done yet. She's going to continue to speak her truth with tarot cards apparently.

Friday Fodder

Friday, April 25, 2008

Because I'm quite the Madonna fan (laugh if you want), she is previewing her album on MySpace right now. Happy Friday -- here's to more good Cleveland weather.

Wedding no-no's

Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Well, it's about that time again. Wedding season! You know, when you and your BF head off to weddings and the "question" is asked by every great-aunt or friend of the family -- so, when you are you two getting married? My usual response is one of a few things: When he makes more money, or an innocent laugh, take a sip of wine and say "not any time soon," or maybe when he stops cheating on me. OK, so maybe the last response is only for the few good friends to spice things up in really uncomfortable settings.

But really, when is it OK to ask that question? I'm going to say never. Or, you better be my very close friend to ask that. It's never OK to ask that question if you just met a couple, especially if they are both standing there. The BF and I went to 12 weddings last summer -- two of them were on the same day so we had to go our separate ways. I can't count how many times people asked us as we both stood there when we were getting married.

I felt the most uncomfortable for my friend Katie though. It became a funny joke to us by the end of the summer because everyone always asked her about it. I think we might’ve even counted a few times how many times she was asked – it kept things interesting. People who she hasn’t seen in years kept probing her about it. She’s way too nice to snub them and has way more patience than I do.

Here’s how a typical conversation would go:
Faux friend who she hasn’t seen in years asks: “How long have you guys been together? Oh, wow, three years. When’s the big date? Oh, you guys aren’t engaged yet? Well, I’m sure your time will come. “What does that even mean?

We can never be too sure what is going on in other people’s relationships. So, in my mind, it’s safe to say you shouldn’t ask those questions to people you just met. It comes off rude, nosy and to be quite honest, it’s none of your damn business.

My wedding season starts Memorial Day weekend. Let the questioning begin….

Bad relationship of the week

I've been thinking about this since the story broke last week. The bad relationship of the week is anyone and everyone in a polygamist relationship, especially if you are located in Texas.

What the F are you people thinking? I have a boat load of questions for these women and men in polygamous relationships because I'm completely fascinated by this lifestyle. I'm also very inquistive about the Amish lifestyle, too.
Why do you wear 1800s clothing?
Why do you wear your hair like that?
How long do you really think you will be able to live with 50+ people in one house when it's clearly illegal to have multiple wives?
How can you be surprised when the state takes away your kids for living a plural lifestyle? (I could kick the PR person who invented the term.)

You can't honestly think that you are in a healthy relationship. Right?

I have to say...I'm a huge fan of the show Big Love. I can't help it. I can't wait for the new season on HBO.

Name your deal or deal breaker.

Thursday, April 17, 2008
A reader and co-worker forwarded me this article from reporter John Campanelli from the Cleveland Plain Dealer yesterday.

When we start dating someone, we all have a list of traits we absolutely won't stand for in a guy or girl. For me, I'm not into smokers, womanizers, guys with no close group of friends, a guy with no career aspirations or someone who isn't comfortable in large groups of people. Non-social guys are a big no-no in my book. They don't mix with my crowd of peeps or personality type.

In this article, it's actually refreshing to read a man's opinion and he speaks with a woman who talks about her "deal breakers." He even interviews a relationship expert weighs in on some common "deal breakers" --

"While deal-breakers vary from person to person and relationship to relationship, there are a few universal ones, says Marshall:

• When you are working harder than the other person, always making the calls, setting up the dates, fixing the problems -- deal-breaker.

• When you find yourself preoccupied with the future because the present is unbearable ("Things will be great as soon as he gets a job," "She just needs a vacation and she'll be in the mood") -- deal-breaker.

• When the other person keeps projecting or casting you in roles ("You were checking out that guy," "I know you didn't call me last night because you went to the strip club with your friends") -- deal-breaker."

So, readers, name your deal breaker(s).

A woman scorned

Wednesday, April 16, 2008
While driving into work today, one of Cleveland's local radio stations, Q104, was talking about this video from YouTube. Her name is Tricia Walsh Smith who is getting divorced from her rich husband who is a prominent Broadway theater operator. All three DJs were sounding off about whether or not this is right, should you take the "high road" or is this OK behavior?

We've all been through our share of bad break-ups. I get it. We all do. Do we really need to broadcast it in this fashion? Really though? What is taking it to YouTube going to do other than garner you a couple million hits and solidify the fact that you are, in fact, a crazy soon-to-be-ex-wife? Plus, I really don't think your soon-to-be ex-husband is going to give you more money now that you've gone public. You signed a pre-nup, honey. That's kind of the whole point of signing a pre-nup -- you are only entitled to so much.

Watch for yourself. Would you do this?

Style 101 from the B.F.

Monday, April 14, 2008
I love when my boyfriend tries to critique my fashion sense. Really. It’s quite humorous.

Like today for example, I passed him in the hallway and he looks at me and says, "That’s an interesting shirt."
Me: Thanks, I’ve been getting a lot of compliments on it.
Him: Smirking, Good or uh.... bad?
Me: Good. Why do you say it like that?
Him: It’s kind of um, hippy-flower-girl-ish. Don't you think?

Editor’s note: It’s a bright blue silk, three quarter-length sleeve shirt with a button front. In retrospect, I totally should’ve bought a skinny belt to go with it to make it look better. Not really hippish.

This all coming from the kid who still wears t-shirts over a long sleeved thermal shirt. Really? How are you about to call me out when you are still living in American Eagle’s glory days?

And, I'm not one of those girls who tries to change his dress. He actually does dress pretty well with a little help from me buying him Express shirts and jeans for any holiday I can legitimately buy him presents for.

Although, now that I think about it, dressing your B.F./G.F. makes for a whole other post about being a "kept man." Do you know of any?

SATC -- Coming to Cleveland

Sunday, April 13, 2008
I'm joining the ranks of millions of girls awaiting the premiere of the Sex and the City: The Movie. I can't wait. I've watched a trailer a dozen times this weekend. I got even more excited when I found THIS in this month's Cosmo -- Holy shit was I excited.

I will be definitely being signing up to go to the after-party in Cleveland. Who is coming with me?

Click below for a preview.

Friday Fodder

Friday, April 11, 2008

First, I have to admit that I'm typically not a good morning person. I have my moments if I'm on vacation or have errands upon errands to do, but normally I like to get up and not talk to people right away. Ask my mom. I was a horrible kid to get up for school. I was pretty much a brat. And, it even got worse when I couldn't find a shirt I wanted to wear that day because my closet was jam packed with clothes. All in all, not a good way to start off the day.

Luckily I grew out of that not-so-friendly-morning-stage, and grew into a more mature phase where at least I don't get pissed off if I can't a shirt.

Here was my morning today:
Alarm goes off, some DJ talking, then Rihanna "Don't Stop the Music" comes blaring through. (This isn't exactly the music I want waking me up in the morning. I'm more of a fan of the Christian station because it has more peaceful music. Granted, I know it's religious, but I try and ignore that part and just concentrate on the soothing quality as I awake.)

Rihanna gets into the first couple versus, and then the chorus starts and the B.F. apparently recognizes the song and blurts out.

"Ooooooooooo I love this song," in this stupid voice that he knows will annoy the shit out of me. Oh my god, nothing makes me want to get out of bed more than that.

Glow safely

Tuesday, April 8, 2008
After much thought and reading scary, but true, stories about skin cancer, I have given up tanning beds. I believe the last time I was tanning was last March after I read an article in Allure that scared the living shit out of me. I can't find it online to save my life, but it worked that well so you know it was a well written article. Anyway, after reading this from Alexa at Cleveland's a Plum, I realize that I made the right decision to stop tanning. However, I decided that I don't want to be pasty white anymore, and I need to gain some color somehow in a safe way. Ta-dah! Sunless tanner! As far as my heritage goes from, I'm a cross between a good looking Croatian-Hungarian and Polish chick, which means I didn't end up with Hungarian skin -- I'm stuck with Polish skin. Now don't get me wrong, I definitely tan but not as easily as my mom and brother can. Damn them.

The B.F. constantly reminds me how pasty I am. He sometimes shields his eyes as if I'm blinding him when I get out of the shower or am changing outfits. He once told me he broke up with a girl because she was too pale. (I doubt it.) Seriously...I'm not that damn white. I fake a good golden brown with NARS Bronzer on my face and neck. Truly, isn't that all that matters until I put on a bathing suit?

If you are looking for a new sunless tanning lotion, try this one here. I got the recommendation from Kristin, Beauty Addict, after reading through her many trials from this past summer. Kristin -- you better be right with this one!

Bad example of living together

Monday, April 7, 2008
Holy shit. I hope, really I do, that by the time this postcard reached Post Secret you left the bastard and took some of his stuff too.

I'm all for hiding "personal" items between the two of you, but hiding your stuff to make it appear that you don't live there? Come on honey. You are better than that. It leads me to a bigger thought though. You must not have a lot of stuff, right? Clothes? Shoes? Pictures? I mean, how can you hide all your belongings in enough time. Where does he put them? Is your storage place that big? He must be an expert packer. It would take my B.F. days to make it look like I don't live there.

I guess I'm just baffled because I'm thinking where my B.F. would put all my stuff.

My advice: Break up with the freak. It will save you oodles of money in future therapy.

Planning a wedding?

I can't stop laughing. This is the best 30-second spot I've seen so far today. Please. Do yourself a favor and play this a few times.

Every soon-to-be married couple should have to see this before they tie the knot.

Happy viewing.

Friday Fodder

Friday, April 4, 2008
I'm a news junkie to say the least. I read everything from CNN to PerezHilton to NY Times to USA Today and tons of blogs. Occasionally, an interesting article will come across that is directly related to what the B.F. and I have been fighting/laughing/yelling over. Today, I see this via CNN -- Six tips to a sexy bedroom. I forwarded this over because we are in a battle over purchasing a new mattress and bedroom set because neither one of us really want to pay for it. (I know, I know. Grow up, you are probably thinking. I am grown up and will make a decision soon. This just costs money. Lots of money. Have you priced out bedroom furniture lately? Holy shit.)

I forward this link over to him and here is his response.

Allison's bedroom needs:
(1) new f-ing bed
(1) new f-ing bedroom set
(1) new f-ing TV stand that matches the bedroom set
Numerous pieces of wall art/decor
(1) hook to hang her bathrobe in on the closet

He referred to it as my room. See that? I'll update when I decide. Case closed.

Step by step

Dear 10-year-old self,

Your favorite band from childhood is back. Now, if only Madonna would go on tour with her new CD this summer. I can't wait. They are performing May 16 on the Today Show. Roadtrip to NY!

Make it last all night.

Thursday, April 3, 2008
How long should sex last?

Boys complain when girls complain it's too long or too short. Then, girls complain when it's too long because they don't want to admit their faking it to make it enjoyable for both parties. (Breaking news to guys: all girls fake it at some point, but just not your girlfriend, right?)

According to the Today Show's poll, 40 percent of respondents said "15 to 30 minutes is a good run." Only 7.9 percent voted for "all night long."

For some funny end of Thursday reading, check out Glamour's take on Dos and Don'ts on sex.

Relationships gone bad

Anyone and everyone who lives with the ever graceful, Ms. Paris Hilton is a bad example of living together and a relationship all wrapped up into a ball. I'm not a fan of Paris. Never have been. She stands for absolutely nothing and has a whole army of young girls thinking it's OK to speak in a kiddy voice, twirl around and pouting your lips for the paparazzi to snap a picture of you. Not cute.

Remember this interview from Larry King? It's amazing what natural make-up, a flowery dress and low-key hair can make viewers believe. Great, great PR move for her, but she's done little capitalize on it or shape her image in a positive way. Instead, she's choosing to search for a new best friend with MTV's help. So much for helping those less fortunate in Africa.

Cheaters never win Part II (even if you are a girl)

Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Narm in the previous post about guys cheating on girls brought up a great point. What do guys do when their girlfriends decide to cheat? If you were Little Bull's boyfriend, she has a number of ways to get back at you including tapping into your e-mail accounts to achieve her revenge. But what about the guys? What do they do? I don't know if I could see a guy bashing in his girlfriend's headlights or lighting her car on fire.

I asked Narm to see his response. He said, "I'd call her a bitch, grab my boys for a drinking fest then fuck the first girl I could find on W.6th." Point taken. Narm doesn't want you back at all.
I asked another co-worker and he said, "It already happened, and I'd still do nothing but kick her out." I asked my B.F. and he said, "I'd burn your Uggs then cheat on you." I think he meant the same thing Narm meant.

For the girls who have cheated before, what did your B.F.s do? Anything to seek revenge on your ass?