Wedding no-no's

Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Well, it's about that time again. Wedding season! You know, when you and your BF head off to weddings and the "question" is asked by every great-aunt or friend of the family -- so, when you are you two getting married? My usual response is one of a few things: When he makes more money, or an innocent laugh, take a sip of wine and say "not any time soon," or maybe when he stops cheating on me. OK, so maybe the last response is only for the few good friends to spice things up in really uncomfortable settings.

But really, when is it OK to ask that question? I'm going to say never. Or, you better be my very close friend to ask that. It's never OK to ask that question if you just met a couple, especially if they are both standing there. The BF and I went to 12 weddings last summer -- two of them were on the same day so we had to go our separate ways. I can't count how many times people asked us as we both stood there when we were getting married.

I felt the most uncomfortable for my friend Katie though. It became a funny joke to us by the end of the summer because everyone always asked her about it. I think we might’ve even counted a few times how many times she was asked – it kept things interesting. People who she hasn’t seen in years kept probing her about it. She’s way too nice to snub them and has way more patience than I do.

Here’s how a typical conversation would go:
Faux friend who she hasn’t seen in years asks: “How long have you guys been together? Oh, wow, three years. When’s the big date? Oh, you guys aren’t engaged yet? Well, I’m sure your time will come. “What does that even mean?

We can never be too sure what is going on in other people’s relationships. So, in my mind, it’s safe to say you shouldn’t ask those questions to people you just met. It comes off rude, nosy and to be quite honest, it’s none of your damn business.

My wedding season starts Memorial Day weekend. Let the questioning begin….


Michelle & the City said...

i'm friends with a couple that's been together for 6 years and they get this question ALL THE TIME. it's such a joke now that they just laugh and don't even give a response.

Mel said...

My boyfriend and I were together for SIX MONTHS when a few nosy family members actually started asking me this question ("Is he the one?" Like what? Is he the one doing my laundry right now?)!! Do I look like I'm drying up or something?

Let us not forget that I was engaged no less than two years ago, but not before two break-ups, a moving-out "break," and FOUR YEARS of living-in-sin.

And apparently they forgot about the relationship I was in for six years that went absolutely nowhere.


Alexa said...

what i think is even worse, probs because i am living in it...

is when people ask me when i am going to get married and settle down. AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE A BOYFRIEND!

way to rub it in my face a little bit more that i'm not dating anyone as i am standing in my 9th bridesmaid dress.

yeah, i'm not bitter at all : /

Allison M. said...

Michelle - I need to work on my filter. I always have to say something.

Mel -- Did you keep the ring? Ebay it for a great vacation.

Alexa -- Hope at least it's a rewearable dress, right?

Mel said...

Bitch, you know I sold that shit! He "paid" for a lovely Vegas vacation (for me). I didn't make NEARLY as much as he paid for it.

Poor thing will be receiving another 8 years of monthly statements as a reminder! (Even if he did torture me by extending my Modern Bride subscription by another TWO FREAKING YEARS after I moved out).

Karen said...

I am 33 and my boyfriend is 35 for a few more months each anyhow.
I was to be married (to someone else) 07-01-06 and
called it off 03-27-06.
Really hard, but good, decision.

Current beau and I have been together for 16 months, but the "So where's the ring?" questions started at the 4 month mark.

My dad and mom (both remarried) ask me at least every month- so have you two talked any more about marriage? Have you made any plans?

I've got to come up with a respectable but snappy come back!
'As soon as he ends his affair with the pool boy '?

surviving myself said...

12 weddings??? Dude, you are insane.

I'd have said "no" to at least 9 of them.

Allison M. said...

I think it was 12 starting with March through August. Now that I think about it, it may have only been 8 or 9, but still, quite a high number for only one summer.