fake diamonds are not your friends

Monday, October 13, 2008

Dear Mariah,

I'm a huge fan. Huge. I've loved your voice since back when Dreamlover was released. When Butterfly was released, I didn't let that CD leave my boombox for months. (iPods didn't exist back then.) I even still jam to Honey every once in awhile on iTunes. However, let's talk about your obsession with butterflies. I understand that it was a symbol for you when you finally broke up with your old man or whatever back in the day. Ok, that was then and this is now.

Please stop wearing crystal butterfly fake tattoos. Even 12-year-olds don't wear those and since you are eternally 12, neither should you. Ask your friends. They will tell you the truth. If they don't, I suggest you find new ones because they are lying to your face and laughing at you with each red carpet pose. That dress is absolutely amazing and you looked phenomenal from the front. When you turned around it looked you like forgot to remove your latest party foul from Saturday night.

Allison M.


~*~Lilly~*~ said...

I'm sorry to say this (yes mariah you look fabulous..)BUT hot damn!...hmm what is up with her nipple? I guess her clothing assistant also forgot to introduce her to those fancy little nipple covers? Oh ya when your eternally 12 you don't have to worry about things like boobs and nipples. lol

Always a Bridesmaid said...

This is a problem bigger than Swarovski butterfly tats. She looks like an a-hole all the time lately. Like she just made a stop at Forever 21 and bought her outfit two sizes too small.

JAmie said...

Seriously, is this 2008? I love the girl but don't know what she was thinking!

Mon said...

what about "someday?" was that not the original Mariah song? C'mon!

mike belgrove said...

LOL, yeh she does have a bit of an obsession. She's like 40 now. I'm pretty sure no butterflies stick around that long.