Cheers to the new year

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Well, it's that time when bloggers will write witty posts about things they would like to improve on in the new year. You know, I bet working out and eating better will be at the top of everyone's list or saving money because no one has any at this point. However, since this is my blog, it's my take on New Year's resolutions.

When the BF and I took a short trip to Rochester to visit his family, we discussed a few things we'd like to change about each other. What better time then starting with a new year....

1) His road rage.
I have no tolerance for idiot people and he's included that in group when he gets road rage. At first, he hid it from me like he was hiding a girl on the side. I never saw it come out. Ever. However, fast forward two years and he whips it out at any and every trip we take.

The mall, hello road rage, to the grocery store, hello road rage, to my parent's house, hello road rage.

I can't even describe how unenjoyable it is when he acts like this. He will cut off cars that cut him off. I close my eyes and hold my breath. Does that make sense to cut off cars? Not to me it doesn't. Plus he's endangering my life and I have a lot of things left to do - something I constantly remind him of.

To help him change in 09, I'll slit his tires and offer to drive every chance I get.

2)His TV watching skills.
He blocks me out when he's watching TV. He can completely pretends like I'm not there. At all. Even if I have something worthwhile to ask him. (There are things you can interrupt TV for, boys.) For instance, we were watching the Dark Knight and I had an important question. Nothing from him. No noise, no facial movements, no head nod - it was like I wasn't even there. Impressive huh?

Here's what I'm going to do to solve the problem - I'm going to steal the remote and hit pause everytime he doesn't answer me.

Yep, that's right BF. During Seinfeld, PAUSE, during Whale Wars, a big PAUSE and even during Cavs games - hello PAUSE.

Those are my new year's resolutions for you BF! Let's see how you improve on these during 2009.

Me? I don't really need any. I make changes throughout the year.

Bag lady

Tuesday, December 30, 2008
For every girl who says their boyfriend isn't listening, well, maybe he is and you just don't know it. Even though you think he's ignoring you when you ask a question during the Browns game, he's really listening but just pretending to block you out.(Truth be told, I'm guilty of saying that exact statement but ultimately the BF is listening to some things. He's mainly reading my blog.)

Awhile back I posted about BellaDawn and listed a few items I would like for Christmas. He didn't ask me for any present ideas which was making me a little nervous. Last year as this funny joke that wasn't that funny, he bought Paris Hilton perfume. So, I was really wondering what he had up his sleeve because he seemed very confident in his gifts.

"You are going to like it and not return a thing," he kept saying.

Editor's note: I forget very easily and had no idea I indirectly told him what to get me. That's actually quite an understatement. My friends laugh/yell at me when they tell me me something and then have to remind me that they told me. Then, I accuse them of keeping me out of the loop and they have to remind me that they did in fact tell me, but that I was probably on the computer or watching TV when they told me.

Anywho, the BF did really good for this Christmas. He bought all three things I listed on my blog - the purse, cuff and shiny leggings. Because I can't quite pull them off, I sent the leggings back and am waiting on some jewelry instead.

The shiny black leggings sound good on paper, but I'm not quite sure they would look good on my enormous calves. Just saying.....I have big calves.

The moral of the story is to get a blog, your boyfriend will listen and you'll get the Christmas gifts you always wanted. Well, almost everything you wanted - I'm still waiting on the Louis.

i love you, thank you, get lost

Friday, December 26, 2008
Since Tom and Gisele were hitched over this holiday break, I wonder who said 'I love you' first?

I'm thinking Tom said it and Gisele's response was "Damn right, you do," in her sweet accent.

The "L" word is a big deal just like losing your V-card. Once you say it, you can't take it back.

When did you say it? First? Never? Did you respond with an awkward "thank you?" Maybe an immediate break-up?

Here's what Wendy Atterbery from the
guess my advice to my future daughter would be this: "If you love a man and want to have a long relationship with him, give him time to get there. If you think you've given him enough time and you're ready to move on if he doesn't feel the same way for you, then go ahead and tell him you love him. But only say those words if you're prepared to let him go."

present consultant

Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Me? A resource?

It's funny how men make fun of you for reading too many fashion magazines and spending too much money, but they will come to you when they need advice for Christmas presents for their GFs.

That's right Narm!

Because I don't hide the fact that I'm a label whore (not completely though), two guys in the office came up to me ask me what to get their girlfriends. They had really great ideas but needed some advice on where to buy.

(At this point, I realized how complicated girls can be when buying gifts. I'll admit it, I'm probably one of those. I want the BF to be a mind reader but he's not and really shouldn't be.)

Anyway, I helped both of them find the perfect gifts for their significant others this Christmas or at least I tried. Both bought gifts when they were "listening" to their girls.

Giftless guy -"Allison, I need to get this ____."
Me - How do you know she wants it? Are you sure
Giftless guy - "Well, she said it passing. So if I get it, it shows I was actually listening to her that day."

Well, guys are listening, just watch what you say.

things my boyfriend says

Monday, December 22, 2008
My gift(s) is officially in our place.

On Saturday, the BF brought it to our place. It was supposed to come wrapped but I guess it was but with whatever logo all over it. So, as I hear him come in, I yell "hi" from the other room and he says with the straightest tone ever:

"If you so much as go in that room, I will scissor kick your ass."

Needless to say I didn't look but I heard him wrapping something. He said he had "to wrap it such a way so that I wouldn't know what it is."

Wrap this

Thursday, December 18, 2008
I'm getting into the Christmas spirit. I don't know about you! Last night, I finished most of my shopping and needed to wrap a few gifts.

Editor's note: I might be the worst wrapper of all time. It's pretty terrible.

If it all possible, I always take advantage of free wrapping because my skills are really that bad. If I have box to wrap around, I'm not that bad. But, you give me a sweater without a box because those bastards at Banana Republic were out, and you have a handful - a handful of crinkly paper with uneven corners and a botched taping job.

Well, the BF is a great wrapper! He was so precise with his corners and even added this cool ribbon wrapping to a gift for his brother. Since I sucked at wrapping and I don't have much Christmas on iTunes except for Mariah Carey and Christina Aguilera, I decided to sing some of my favorites out loud. You know, like Jingle Bells, What Christmas Means to me (think Stevie Wonder) and Walking in a Winter Wonderland.

BF- Is this what you do when you are alone?
Me- Still singing and dancing around the place, "I do this all the time."
BF- Good thing no one is videotaping you right now.

He's lucky I didn't blast my favorite Christmas song of all time.

Wham! warms the cockles of my heart.

Here's Jimmy Eat World's version

shop til you drop

Wednesday, December 17, 2008
As Christmas approaches, I'm getting better at two things:

1) Procrastinating when buying gifts that require time to ship.
2) Finding the best deals possible for myself, I mean people.

You want to talk about a shopping mecca! I have a great set of outlets, the Aurora outlets, right by us and I rarely take advantage of them. It's just something I forget that's there. It's so much quicker to run up to one of our local malls then drive 20 more minutes to the outlets.

Mark my word, I'll be there more often. I can't even begin to tell you how many things were on sale. (My head was spinning and the BF was laughing.)

In my quick shopping spree for gift-giving, I found two Coach purses, a wallet, at least 4 new pairs of boots, some dress pants, coat and a cute spring dress.

And, here lies my problem: I see a sale and I want to pounce on it.

Doesn't everyone need that pair of rain boots?
I mean, hello, who doesn't need a new black or brown purse to compliment any future outfit purchases?
Skinny jeans? Hate to love them - of course I need more than one grey and black.

Remember when I said I'm buying gifts? Well, I did and resisted the urge to buy that really cute Coach signature hobo bag with the orange leather detail. I resisted it all in the name of saving money.

Start your shopping engines, ladies, because I'll be back with my Christmas money to snag that new purse.

Friday Fodder

Friday, December 12, 2008
Barbie is in a brawl with whoever the F Bratz dolls are. Never heard of them. Back in my doll days, I had to pick over Barbie vs. Jem. How can you not love Jem? She's truly outrageous with a hot boyfriend, Rio, who had slicked-back purple hair? How could you not love him? What a cutey?

Or you had Barbie. She had the perfect blond hair, amazing outfits and don't even get me started about the shoes. Maybe that's where my shoe fetish started? Damn you, Mattel! You're the reason I'm obsessed with shoes and purses!

Back to the topic at hand now. Apparently Barbie thinks Ms.Bratz is a bad influence and Ms. Bratz probably thinks she's too much of a prude. Hmmm this sounds like real life or a story out of one of my fave shows, which I am entirely too old to watch - Gossip Girl.

Peace out. My weekend starts now.

Wrong gift

Thursday, December 11, 2008
Dear significant others,

Think before you buy that special someone a half-assed gift.

You could end up with more than you bargained for.

(READ BF, you better not get me Paris Hilton perfume again!)

Move over, momma

Tuesday, December 9, 2008
I'm disturbed by Ryan Seacrest's new reality show.

Sidenote - When we will be done with reality shows? Haven't we seen enough with Flavor of Love, Bad Girls Club and Paris Hilton's My BFF? And when will Ryan share his tanning secrets with us?

Apparently, the answer is no and never because Ryan and his blond tips have developed, filmed and even finished editing this show - Momma's Boys.

What the F is that about? Who thought this was going to be a good idea? Not that we haven't received overkill from the Bachelor and the Bachelorette, (Jesse I love you and still hope you are the next Bachelor) but what genius thought this would be a grand idea?

I think it's enough to have girls or guys compete for affection by going through a strange series of tests to prove their love, but do we really need to throw their mothers into the mix?

Poor ladies - you know those mommas will be over the top, over protective and over dramatic with their little ones. I have a feeling this show will be tragic. Hopefully, for NBC, it's as entertaining as I Love New York because just maybe I'll watch an episode or two.

No one wants to date a momma's boy - in real life or in reality.

What stories do you have about dating a momma's boy or daddy's girl?

hide and seek

Monday, December 8, 2008
I hate being surprised and it's very hard to pull this off.

Case in point - the only surprise birthday party for me was thrown two years ago. My friends pulled it off because they had so many lies going.... they didn't know which was the truth anymore. Needless to say, this doesn't happen very often.

I always want to know everything. If we are going out, I want to know where, how long and why. It's built into my DNA - I can't help it. I will indirectly find out key details which can blow a surprise too.

This definitely doesn't help with gift giving either.I have always searched for birthday and Christmas presents, too. Back when I realized there wasn't any Santa, I would make it my mission to search out each present. As I got older and more like Nancy Drew, I would even search for my mom's receipts from her holiday shopping. (Sorry, Mom, but I couldn't help it.)

I even discovered one of my birthday presents hidden in her bedroom closet. I think it was Gem and the Holograms. Even at 8, I managed to pull off a "I'm-really-surprised-but-I-already-knew-what-I-was-getting" look.

Fast forward 15 years later and I still search out for clues. You know you have issues when your boyfriend tells you he's keeping the presents at an undisclosed location and not your house.

BF- I'm guaranteeing you don't return any of my presents this year.
Me - Yeah right, did you get me Paris Hilton perfume again?
BF- I'm going out on a limb here. I'm promising something I've never promised before. You won't return anything.
Me- Did you think the same thing last year? Because if that's the case, you are screwed.
BF - No, last year I knew you'd take stuff back. This year you won't. And, I won't disclose the location or price of where your gifts are.

Five bucks said they are stored at our friend's house or in our storage units because our keys our mysteriously missing.

the lonely island..more to come on SNL

Sunday, December 7, 2008
Welcome to the beginning of another work week! If you are a person who hates Mondays or work in general, watch this short video from Andy Samberg and the boys and it will make your Monday look better than chocolate to a girl with PMS. Plus, you'll have a completely inappropriate line you'll keep singing over and over and over.

P.S. J. Timberlake makes a hot janitor.

UPDATE - Click here for the video. It was taken down.

Tween boys are what it's at

Thursday, December 4, 2008
For all those women out there who say there are no more good men, that they are all taken or gay, it's because they aren't 30 or 40, they are 8-years-old!

I read about this story the other day and thought CNN must've messed up their headline.


An 8-year-old wrote a dating book. Bullshit. And Britney Spears' latest photos in Rollingstone weren't airbrushed.


Leave it to the Today Show to interview this young Huge Hefner. You know he's a pimp at recess. He's turning down kickball games left and right to accommodate his dating schedule. He's juggling three or few girls at a time.

Men, take notice. If you thought you could date younger women, we are going to take it one step further and pull a Mary Kay Letourneau on your ass.

Demi Moore, eat your heart out.

blanket stealer

Tuesday, December 2, 2008
I don't know about you people, but sleeping with another person in the same bed is not an ideal situation for me. I like to wrap my feet and self around in a blanket with a combination of three pillows. If you ask the BF, he says I have "sleeping issues." It's always me, he says, I'm the one stealing the covers with my crazy get-up with my pillows.

Since he has redesigned the bedroom to accommodate his PS2 fishing game, he's been the one dominating the blankets. I wake up in the middle of the night, shivering and trying to pull some of the blankets from the black hole that is his side of the bed. When I do try to get some of them back, I start to push him off the bed very slowly by inching my way on his side of the bed.

(He has caught on to my game.) When he realizes what I'm going to do, he always tells me to "get my caboose out of his backyard."

Is there such thing as sleeping etiquette? If so, I need to sign the BF up ASAP for a class or five of those.