Six month review

Thursday, January 31, 2008
We just passed our six month mark of living together. And, I'm alive to blog about it. As I think about all the things I've learned about him and boys in general, I feel like I could write a book about and put Ph.D next to my name -- even without having the damn degree. Screw it, I am an expert. Here are some key things I now understand about the male being and he understands about me.

1) Sometimes, boys just don't want to talk. And it doesn't mean they are mad at you, the TV or work.
2) Their guilty pleasure is reading their girlfriend's magazines, including US Weekly.
3) Can have an opinion about decorating if they are paying.
4) Don't understand a woman's need for her own closet or bathroom.
5) Yes, we do need all those shoes and earrings.
6) No, not all flat irons work like a ceramic one.
7) When I say I need five minutes, I really need 15 and it's 20 before I'm out the door -- deal with it or lie to me about the time.
8) There is an art to cleaning the kitchen. Get me out of it.
9) Locks work great.
10) I require a lot of alone time and attention -- difficult balance I know.
11) Men are always little boys at heart. They need their video games, big TVs and pranks.

Interview with a soon-to-be cohabitator

Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Meet my friend Gretchen G. A couple weeks ago, or maybe it was a month, she asked me my opinion of living with my boyfriend and were the fireworks still there. More or less, she was asking me for my advice on living with your boyfriend. I tried and provided my opinion without pushing one or the other. In the end, I think her mind was made up but just needed to hear someone else's opinion. Needless to say, she's taking the plunge mid-February and here's some insight into her decision.

How long have you been dating the B.F.?
- We have been together a little over two years.

What was the final decision maker? ( Don't say financial reasons because all the experts say that's a big no-no.)
There are two of them:
- His roommate left and so the next natural move was to move in together so he didn't lose his townhouse (financial reason- haha)...
- Also... we are both big believers in living together before you get engaged. So in our tentative time line... we decided that it was time to move in and see what happened? We are both really excited!!! I guess you could say it was a "shit or get off the pot" kind of decision... haha

What did your/his parents say? Did you consult them for their opinion?
- My parents lived together and have been kind of excited for us to see if we can make it work. (mom specifically thinks a good step.)
- His parents are much more traditional, and his sister was engaged before they lived together... so they had a slightly different opinion. His mom a little nervous about it and his dad was more comfortable with it. They both figured that he was too old to tell him what to do. Plus, I know them very well and we get along....
- No we didn't consult them... we just decided and did it.

What do you think is going to be your biggest adjustment? And what do you think will be his biggest adjustment?
- my biggest adjustments? sharing one tiny bathroom (no storage). sharing food (I am a cheapskate- and i only buy Kroger brand). sharing TV (not gonna lie- love my lifetime movies and Oprah). ha ha
- his biggest adjustments? sleeping in the same bed all the time. feeling the pressure to be engaged from other people.

Do you have locks on your doors? (Hint: you might need them.)
- ha ha... well there are locks... I have never seen them locked and mike claims he is the key holder. ha ha. I WILL find them.

Bikes, helmets, oh my -- a day with the B.F.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Let's just say I don't deserve a cookie. I deserve a personal chef for a month to bake me cookies for what I did today. I went where not many women dare to go...on an outing of her B.F.'s interest. Gasp! I voluntarily went to the yearly bike show at the IX Center. The B.F. has a bike and I tend to ride it every so often. Most of the time I fear for my life, so I try and space out my trips on the back on his blue death ride.

I went, I saw and I conquered that show. I, no kidding, walked around and looked at everything from helmets to tires to gloves to clear glasses for when you ride at night. I even sat on a couple bikes, almost dropped them and then decided I'd want a Vespa before a motorcycle. (I asked the guy at the booth if they came in pink. He kind of looked at me strange and pointed to the color schemes I had to pick from -- none of those were pink or a cool, iridescent white color.) I decided against getting one.

Then, I saw the mother-of-all things at the bike show -- a see-through sequined tank top. I have to admit. I have never seen something quite like it in person. You know, you hear the rumors of bike week in Daytona with women who wear thongs with chaps and nipple tassels. But still, to see this article of clothing in person was quite shocking.

I grab it and blurt out, "What the hell is that?" The B.F. laughs and says, "That's what biker chicks wear." Then, this nice woman who was clearly more into biking from behind me says, "Honey, you wear a black bra under that." I pick my mouth up off the floor and I ask, "Wait, do you wear these?" She said she didn't, but the younger girls who are in better shape do. It wasn't that I was shocked that girls wear those trashy excuse for a shirt. But it was the women who I saw at the show who shouldn't be wearing it, and I could picture (I didn't want to) them throwing that white trash thing on.

Anyway, I did make it out of that place with a silver helmet. I really did want one that was more shimmery, but I have to take what I can get I guess. Hey -- at least my head will stay intact when we are crusing around this summer.

Seeing as I ventured with him to an event that is a huge interest of his, I don't want to hear him complaining if I ask him to partake in one of my interests. I think, as part of a couple, we should step out of our comfort zone and do what the other person wants for a change.

To all the boys out there, I know shopping with your girlfriend or seeing 27 Dresses with them isn't your ideal date, but it's what she wants to do -- so get with it. And to the girls, I just spent 3.5 hours at a bike show because that's what the B.F. wanted to do, so don't complain about going to watch the SuperBowl at the bar with his friends -- at least he invited you, right?

TV never looked so good.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008
You know how guys don't understand girls and shopping? Well, girls don't understand the immense time it takes for a B.F. to purchase a TV.

For instance, boys to TVs are like girls to shoes. Girls can never have enough and the TV can't be big enough. I can't tell you how many times he moans, "You bought another pair of shoes!" Why yes, I bought another pair of shoes. Shoes can be the inspiration for a new outfit. Shoes make the outfit for that matter. Plus, I get many uses out of my shoes depending on which outfit I wear. What kind of inspiration does a TV give you? None!

With that said, the B.F. finally bought the TV of his dreams. After months of researching Plasma vs. LCD and increasing the size he wanted, he finally purchased a 46" Sony LCD from Circuit City. Really. I'm talking months of pining over the Sunday ads for Circuit City and Best Buy, asking friends for recommendations and even venturing into the store several times with and without me. (He doesn't like taking me because I ask too many questions. Surprise! Guys don't like to ask for help with directions or when buying electronics. And, did I mention he has minor panic attacks when making large purchases? Oh yes. He gets nervous, can't make a decision and even starts to sweat a little bit. It's just a TV I tell him. It doesn't matter. To him, I'm just the girlfriend.)

Anywho, he bought the TV and couldn't wait to get it home to start viewing the whole 12 HD channels that are available. I have to admit. The TV will look great when Sex and the City: The Movie comes out on DVD. I can't wait!

However, I do have a bone to pick with the writer's strike. From all the new TV buyers of the world, here is a plea to the big movie giants -- give the writers more money because I just bought a new TV and I don't want to just watch the Food Network or NBA basketball in HD.

Allison M.

Birthday recap

Monday, January 21, 2008
When it's time to celebrate my birthday, I like to be one of those annoying people who enjoys a whole week of celebrating around their birth. Lucky for me, my big 2-5 was on a Friday so festivities kicked off on Thursday night with the work crew, then Friday for a dinner with the B.F. and then Saturday a night out at the bars with my college friends.

The B.F. did a great job. He asked a friend for a new restaurant recommendation.

Editor's note: For my big day, I said I didn't want any presents and just a nice dinner with him.

He listened, asked for someone's recommendations and we ended up at DANTE. I have been wanting to go there because I've heard great things about it so far. I was impressed with the staff, decor and more importantly...the wine list. (They have great food. I highly recommend it.)

Well, I had requested no presents. (Really. We had a busy and expensive holiday and I'm OK with the fact that my birthday gets the shaft because it's so close to Christmas.) He didn't listen, but he didn't listen in a good way. I've been blabbing about Wicked for months. How I want to go and how I'm not going to miss it. (I was laying it on thick with "you-better-get-tickets" kind of thick. I missed it the last time it was in Cleveland, so when I found out it was on its way back, you better believe it has been on my radar.

Needless to say he got the tickets and wants to go. I'm sure he's not really into going but he's suffering through it.

On Saturday, my friends and I ventured out to bars in Willoughby where they proceeded to get me repulsive shots, but I guess that's what friends are for, right?

So, turning 25 was great and here's to hoping my insurance goes down!

Are you ready to move in?

Monday, January 14, 2008
After living with the B.F. for a solid six months, I thought it would be a good time to take one of those quizzes to reaffirm my decision to move in. I did and IVillage said this about us:

The Odds Are Good: You two aren't perfectly compatible, but few couples are. In order to keep the peace (and love) once you're under the same roof, remember that sharing a space can make small disagreements escalate fast. If both of you have a solid respect for one another and are willing to compromise, you'll have a good shot at domestic bliss.

This quiz also sparked my interest because Gretchen, a great friend of mine, has also decided to move in with her B.F. in February. She asked me for my advice. Little ol' me! Who knew people looked to me for advice ! I feel so important and, of course, I provided my advice to the best of my six-month-of-living-in-sin ability.

Stupid fight #453

Monday, January 7, 2008
So, as I've learned over this weekend, the B.F. and I can not, I repeat, can not merge decorating tastes. Not only do we look alike, but we are both stubborn know-it-alls. I'll admit it. I am. And I also take things a bit too far now and then. At times I try and edit my personality, but I can't quite cut it.
We needed to return a gift from Christmas so we headed to Pier 1.

(Disclaimer: Neither of us were good moods at this point. He was racing in Cleveland Heights on a Saturday afternoon. This doesn't happen. It can't happen when you have Saturday drivers. I then close my eyes and wait until we we are at our destination. In his mind, he's the perfect driver. In mine, I think I'm going to die and can't fathom that because I have one too many things to do in this life yet. Therefore, I bitch at his driving skills.)

When we get to Pier 1, he returns the product, walks up to me and says, "Pick something out you want."
What I hear: (I don't want to be here long, so let's make this as painless as possible.)
I casually browse through each aisle looking for something to fit in our-yet-be-decided motif. (We have couches and a media stand. I'd hardly call that a style.)

I can't pick anything out. I'm not in the mood for decorating because we need so many items. I'm overwhelmed and interested in everything I see. I find these circular tea light candles holders that are a distressed gold color, plus 50 freaking percent off! Who could argue! I pick up a few and am thinking of putting them on the dining table with a runner underneath it. (I particularly like gold/cranberry/rich browns and muted oranges as a color scheme.) I pick out what is a bad example of the table runner and he says, "Allison, you can't make everything in the apartment shabby chic."

Me: Shabby chic?
B.F.: Yes, Shabby chic.
Me: (Instantly angry because a) he was mocking my taste and b) he clearly didn't know his designers because those candle holders were the furthest thing from shabby chic.)
Some other kind words were exchanged with him walking out of the store and me standing there still thinking my candle holders were pretty cool. So, I put them back down in the basket and casually walk out to the car where the B.F. is pouting.

When I get in the car, he says with a smirk, "No gold candle holders?" I glared at him and replied "no."

We bickered the rest of the night and onto the next morning. Seriously, we were indirectly fighting over distressed gold candle holders that were 50 percent off. At least we both realized it. He wanted to make a pact, "If I stopped being a bitch, he'd stop being a dick."

We did learn one valuable lesson. Guess we shouldn't try agreeing on any other decorations for the apartment -- or at least not any candle holders at the moment.

Meeting the extended family

Wednesday, January 2, 2008
"Has anyone ever told you that you could be brother and sister," said one of his relatives as I was being introduced to her for the very first time. OK-- I get it. I know we look similar. We both have brown hair and blue eyes. Although, I'm much paler than he is without my NARS bronzer on. But, still, it got me wondering about people and their partners. Think about it. Since I didn't know anyone at the family holiday party, I glanced around looking at each person to see if I could see a resemblance between them and their partner. Most of the time I actually could. They might have the same hair color or skin color. They might have similar personalities or maybe they both use their hands when they talk.

It gets even better. Some of my friends will look at a picture and say, "Oh my god, he kinda looks like your dad." Well, duh, I look like my dad.

According to this article, women pick men based on "sexual imprinting" and often pick men that look like their fathers. Now, this, this is a scary thing. We strive to be so different than our parents when we are younger. Rebelling against them, repeatedly telling them that they don't get us or that they don't know anything. I guess they know just takes us years to realize it.

So, to prove that I'm not the only one that resembles my B.F., here is a list of other famous look alike couples:

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner
George and Laura Bush
Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe (pre-divorce)
Jennifer Lopez and Marc Antony
My parents (I know, I know -- not famous but still)
Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson (similar noses for sure)
Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi
Sharon and Ozzy
Sting and his wife

There is one good point of this all. I've never been mistaken for his sister. That has to count for something, right?