tunic does not mean dress

Tuesday, May 26, 2009
On Saturday, a few friends and I hit the bar scene of downtown Cleveland. I can only go there so often but when we do, we always have a great time. However, I think some of the ladies were confused and got on and off the Christie's stripper bus at the wrong location.

To quote a friend, "Tunic does not mean dress." Holy mother, those were freaking shirts, not dresses. Ridiculously tight, jersey material "dresses."

I'm all for fashion and staying trendy by all means. I will admit that I can't pull off certain clothes as well as other women due to my height/weight proportions. But there is no excuse for letting your friends leave the house with their hoo ha's hanging out and look like they just got off the lunch shift at the local strip club.

Absolutely none. My only conclusion is that you must not really be friends with her because you wanted to a good laugh.

In case you need help, here is my checklist for wondering if my dress is in fact a tunic.

You should be wearing leggings if:
-you ass cheeks are hanging out
-you don't have a Calvin Klein invisible thong on
-you ask out loud, "is this too short?" and your friends don't immediately answer
-your thong is in fact showing.
-you are mistaken for entertainment on the street corner.
-the dress actually says "shirt" on the tag.
-you don't want to be mistaken for one of the well-behaved women of Rock of Love.

For fear of tagging some people I know, or worse, making fun of people you know, just click on over to Spot Cleveland and check out pictures from The Barley House on Saturday to see what I'm referring to.

UPDATE: There's a whole blog dedicated to the phenomenon, thanks anonymous for sharing! Shirt or Dress? You decide and send your pictures in.


Michelle said...

Sooooooo true!!! This weekend when we go downtown I am going to wear my sports bra and try to pull it down just below my ass so that I will fit in!

Deutlich said...

I saw someone wear a tunic on Capitol Hill once.

As in - she worked there. And the tunic was apparently "appropriate" attire...

Maureen N said...

Seeing as you quoted me in this post, I think that grants me permission to add to your "You should be wearing leggings if..." list.

1. You have to keeping checking the back of your "dress" with your hands every 5 minutes, or everytime you move, to make sure your ass isn't showing.

2. When walking you have to hold on to the bottom of your dress so that is doesn't ride up.

Basically, if your dress can't cover your hoo-ha without any extra tugging or pulling, get some tights!

If you can go to the bathroom without adjusting your "dress", its too short.

Allison M. said...

Michelle -if you wear the sports bra, I'm not going with you.

Deutlich- anything goes on Capitol Hill apparently.

Maureen - i agree. Tunics for everyone!

Always a Bridesmaid said...

ha ha ha! I totally check tags sometimes to see if they say "shirt" or "dress."

BTW, I don't think this is a downtown-only phenomenon. I saw waaaay too much vah-jean at Bar Louie on Saturday nite. Whoa.

Maxie said...

I get too drunk to be going out in skirts or dresses at all. That's just asking for bad news.

Fizzgig said...

we dont see much of this where Im from.

our problem in the country is mostly people wearing tube tops that shouldnt.

Its hard to decide which is worse

Anonymous said...

check this out: http://shirtordress.blogspot.com/

JD said...

thanks for the shout out!!!

i'm going to link you in my post today