Friday Fodder

Friday, July 31, 2009
A reenactment of a phone call with my mom yesterday.

Ring, Ring, Ring!
Me: As I answer my phone, "Hi Mom."

My mom: Sounding surprised I answered my own cell phone, "ohh..Allison?"

Me: Yes mom, it's me.

My mom: Oh.(Once again surprised I answer my cell phone as if she was expecting someone else.) What are you doing?

Me: I'm having dinner with my friend.

My mom: Gets excited, "Oh a blog friend. Are you eating dinner with a blog friend? Maybe it's that plum?

Me: No, it's a non-blog friend. You know, one I met in real life first.

My Mom: "Oh, OK then, call me when you are done."

two years later and I'm still a-posting...

Wednesday, July 29, 2009
It came and went. I completely missed my glorious two year blogiversary on July 17. And to think way back to when I first started this little old blog, who knew two years would come and go so fast! I think I've come a long way and met some very cool people, too.

I looked through some of my older posts and started laughing because we are still arguing over the smallest details.

First, I'm not allowed to touch the thermostat. The BF even posted a post-it to remind me of it here.

Around holidays or my birthday, I still snoop for gifts because I'm nosy.

The BF still says the most random things to me and I always feel the need to share it.

The BF also likes to write creative and inappropriate things on checks in the memo section. It normally is always some kind of sexual reference to anal beads, anal or threesomes.

And, maybe one day we will come to some agreement about redecorating bedrooms or even a room to his dream man cave.

reality bites

Remember when you could flip TV on any night and find a real drama or comedy show? It doesn't seem like that long ago but with all the trash on TV, I can't remember the time a new show started and lasted longer than 6 episodes on ABC or NBC.

While flipping through channels last night, I saw a promo for a "show" that put me over the edge on VH1. Apparently VH1 thinks people care about this bimbo named Megan who was on one of the Rock of Love's with Bret Michaels. It's called Megan Wants a Millionaire. Barf, gag, this is ridiculous.

Newsflash VH1 execs - no one cares about her!

Haven't we all had enough with the Daisy of Love show? You are cutting music videos out of your rotation for that! It further proves my point that people are famous for absolutely nothing anymore besides having a sex tape.

Let's review these scripted shows we call reality:

The Hills - Don't get me started.
Rock of Love - Where do these girls come from?
Brooke Knows Best - I think I see cue cards.
Keeping up the Kardashians - Make a sex tape, get a show.
Paris Hilton's my BFF - Ditto what Kim did.
Charm School - Get a second wind from Rock of Love or Flavor Flav
Bromance - Amazing what happens when you openly acknowledge you got on the Hills to date those girls.
NYC Prep - Flabbergasted that their parents allowed Bravo to showcase their children in such a negative light.
Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami - Get a DUI, poof - you get a show.

As a TV viewer, I'm getting a little frustrated with all the nitwits who are now famous for absolutely no reason. I used to love Real World when it first was introduced back when I was in junior high. Hell, I even auditioned when I was college, only to receive a rejection letter which pleased both of my parents. At that point, it seemed more real and these people weren't famous for being huge media whores or just whores in general. They might have went on a spring break or two, but they weren't gracing the covers of every tabloid or at red carpet events.

There are these people called actors who have actual talent and star in films and TV shows who bring characters to life. Then there are these fabulous people called screenwriters who craft amazing ideas and story lines to entertain us on this little thing called a TV.

Please come back. All of you of real actors, producers and screen writers. To save us from these other idiots.

Am I the only one who is over the bimbo shows? Do you love or hate reality TV?

Friday Fodder

Friday, July 24, 2009
This is how you make a traditional wedding ceremony say the least.

But, the boyfriend has this to say:
"Too bad neither you or our friends can dance. I’d be the only one grooving down the isle. The rest of you would look like you’re convulsing."

there goes my pool time...

Thursday, July 23, 2009
Dear Summer,

Hi. It's me. Just a female fan of yours. I know you only like to show your shining self during the months of May through September and leave us with your enemies for the rest of the year.

It would be terrific if you could turn that frown upside down and show the north east Ohio region some sunshine. If it's not today, then please reconsider your weekend plans because it looks as though we will be experiencing the same type of behavior longer than just today.


beware of the woods

Tuesday, July 21, 2009
I will not go walking in the woods.

I will not go walking in the woods.

I will not go walking in the woods.

Try saying that three times fast.

Two of my friends have gone walking in a metropark, near a lake or in nature in general as single girls with their boyfriends and have come out engaged in the past year.

After my friend's engagement this Saturday afternoon, I kindly told the BF I'm not interested in walking in the woods with him in the near future.

One half of the engaged couple with her bling

Tasty Sunday

Sunday was a fantastic and low-key day, which was the perfect way to end a whirlwind weekend. The weather was beautiful - not a raindrop in sight.

My girlfriends and I trucked it over Tremont today for the Taste of Tremont. Last night, you would've never thought we would be awake and vibrant enough to go there, but we all made it one piece.

My very good friends, Michelle and Mike, got engaged last night! More on that in my next post, but here she is in all her glory today!

Lia, Michelle, Katie and I headed to Tremont to taste some food and shop around. It wasn't overly packed because we got there around 3 p.m. which was a good time to show up - not too crowded just yet.

I ran into my friend's Alexa and Todd along with a few other people I can't tag because they don't blog.

We ate everything. Let's just see how much it really was.

-Lolita's Mac and cheese and mint lemonade complete with a Michael Symon sighting, meeting and greeting with fans
-Chicken and cheese empanadas from La Tortilla Feliz
-Peanut butter and chocolate ice cream sandwiches and chocolate covered frozen banana from Tremont Scoops

We somehow missed the Taphouse tent. How is that possible!

Lia, Michelle and Katie drinking and eating

eating a delicious ice cream sandwich

For much better photos from the event, check out Kyle from Northcoast Lifestyle's photo stream here.

What did you guys do this weekend?

for the love of summer

Friday, July 17, 2009
Living in Cleveland, everyone knows we get pounded with snow in the winter and grey clouds in the spring. It's no California, but we do have our bright spots in weather.


Summer is what I live for. Give me a pool, a sunny 82 degree weather with a light breeze and a good book, and you have yourself one happy Allison. I love nothing more than spending one or both days of my weekend lounging by my pool. Although with this weekend's forecast, I don't think I'll be there at all which is kind of a bummer.

Here are my other loves of summer:

A delicious caprese salad with fresh heirloom tomatoes, mozzarella cheese with a balsamic drizzle.

Freshly sliced watermelon

Seamless underwear to go under jersey knit dresses to avoid lines.

Good old-fashioned cookouts with hotdogs and beer

Competitive cornhole games that go well past midnight and need a spotlight to finish

80 degree weather with a slight breeze. I can't stand humidity (I don't know who really can) but if I had 80 degree weather every day, that would be the perfect summer.

Flat irons. When you have humidity, this helps with the frizzy hair add a little Aveda paste and you are good to go.

What are your favorite things about summer?

Tiger Tiger Woods y'all

Since Wii has been released, the BF has wanted to buy one. I really thought we would get one this Christmas because he bought one for his cousins, but we didn't end up buying one after all.

He still has his PS2 that is hooked up to the non-HD TV in the bedroom. Every now and then, he will rent a video game and play it nonstop for two weeks straight. He loses interest and then stops playing.

Well, he found some new Tiger Woods game and has been playing it for the last week. It's a pretty funny sight because I'm sitting in bed reading and he's playing along as Tiger Woods. (I do have a picture and some funny video clips, but he won't let me post them because he's not wearing a shirt. I'll have to catch him when he's not looking again. It's priceless commentary!)

Anyway, you can change your player to look like you and he's convinced it does.

BF: Allison, Don't you think he looks like me? (pointing to the TV screen)
Me: Looking away from my book, "Um, no not really."
BF: Flabbergasted by my reaction, "WHATTTT?"
Me: "BF, it's an avatar. It doesn't really look like you."
BF: "But I gave him a hat and his hair kinda looks like mine."
Me: Amusing him for the last time, "Nope. Sorry. I still don't see the resemblance."

The other night he won the tournament and bought his avatar new Converse shoes and an outfit. He said he wanted to wake me up to celebrate his faux winnings. I'm glad he didn't because I would've killed the kid. Waking up your girlfriend because you won a PS2 tournament? Not worthy of a wake up.

The BF also does this bob and weave dance when he's playing, especially if the music comes up. He even makes up words to the songs sometimes. Like if I ask him a question, he'll sing his answer along with the music.

My next task is to catch him on tape with a shirt on. Although the video may be littered with a few F-bombs because when his avatar misses a put, you better believe there are F-bombs flying all over the place.

Who knew a video game could do all that?

Hometown in the summer

Monday, July 13, 2009
When I first set off to college, I absolutely loathed my hometown. I had been there for years, wanted a change and finally had that when I went to the grand Kent State University.

It's funny how things swap now because I don't mind it anymore. I used to go home to hang out with my friend who were home for their breaks, especially if they were on quarters versus semesters like I was. Now, when I go back home, I go to hang out my parents and family that lives there because very few of my friends call Amherst home anymore.

Well, for some odd reason I convinced myself that heading home on Saturday night to the Jamboree was this glorious idea.

To my cousins last weekend: Do you guys want to meet us at the Jamboree next weekend?Cousins, spitting out their beers: Hell no! Are you kidding! Why are you dragging the BF to that?
Me, annoyed by their reaction: Because I want a funnel cake and a few of my friends will be there.

My cousins didn't join us (losers) but my parents came, and a few friends I haven't seen in awhile. However, the jamboree isn't quite the fun experience that I fondly remember as a kid and highschooler.

For starters, they moved it to a parking lot two streets over versus the street they used to shut down and have it on. Strike number one.
The funnel cake definitely wasn't as good as I remember. Strike number two.
I can't really think of a strike three because I wasn't there long enough.

Enjoying a funnel cake with my southern friend Laura

My friends and I tolerated enough time to eat a funnel cake and foot long corn dog (something's just wrong with that) and we headed over to the bar where it is always one big high school reunion.

At the bar:
-I danced to the beat of my own drum.
-I danced to that shuffle song in all the wrong directions, garnering some evil looks from girls trying to dance all sexy.
-Watched this girl beat it to Billie Jean. (I was this close to trying to have a dance off with her, but ended up just staring at her moonwalking in flip flops.)
-Almost had to throw down with a girl who picked up my sunglasses I left on the table then ran back into the bar to retrieve.

Parents enjoying the night out

Of course my bra is blazing through my tank top with Laura and Danielle

We all had a great time catching up, dancing around the bar and seeing some people we haven't seen in years. And, my friend's boyfriend also told me if I was black, I would be Keri Hilson. Not once, but several times throughout the night and I guess every time her song comes on, he tells my friend that "If Allison was black..." I'm definitely a fan of her music and still notice absolutely no resemblance. He still thinks otherwise.

if the jeans fit...

Do you want to know what rocks?

Receiving a package you weren't planning on receiving. Just like a surprise card or birthday party - they rock and tends to make the rest of your day.

Today, like any other day, I received an e-mail saying I have a package at the front desk. What I thought would be just some extra large envelope turned out to be a kick ass surprise.

Remember when I wrote about meeting Justine, my fashion fairy god mother, and shopping at Gap?

Well, we met, we shopped, chatted and I had a sweet dress to wear to my friend's wedding two weeks ago. I also was teased with the idea that I could become one of 50 Gap enthusiasts across the U.S. I never thought that I would actually be chosen but I was! So, friends, keep your eyes peeled for an invite- we are going to have a Gap party. We will drink, dance to music and try on a few pairs of jeans.

See? I'm not lying. I really was selected!

When I started this little blog almost two years ago, I didn't know who the hell would read it. Would I be interesting? Would people even comment? Would they return even if I used the F-word one too many times? How do I explain a blog to my parents?

Through this little blog, I've met some fantastic Clevelanders that I otherwise would've never been introduced to. Take Alexa for example - who knew one ticket to Sex & the City would make us instant friends. Or Narm who I make a point to call or stop by his office to kindly tell him to stop hating on girls and our messed up minds. Or I would greeted with a hug at the Greenhouse Tavern when Chef's Widow is the hostess with the mostess for the night.

See.. now don't you want to move to Cleveland? If not for the sweet bloggers, maybe Shaq and LeBron, right?

a little ink here, a little ink there

Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Periodically, I get the itch to get a tattoo. It comes and goes quite often. A little ink here, a little ink there....

Here's how it starts:
1) It's warm outside.
2) It's time to show more skin.
3) I think I need to get in better shape before I show that much skin.
4) I start to see other people's tattoos.
5) Then I see pictures of celebrities and their tats.
6) Then I see a picture of Victoria Beckham and her back of the neck of the tattoo.

Isn't it lovely?

I'm also liking the tats on the side of my ribs too. You can cover it up all the time and only see it when I'm in the nude or in a bathing suit.

the extremely overrated Megan Fox

or this version on Hayden

How about the back of the neck?

Or, I could opt for the real new tramp stamp and that would be the wrist

Like the back of back of the neck idea but I have short hair and probably wouldn't grow it long enough to hide it. Actually, there's no chance my hair will ever get past my shoulders unless it's a weave. But, I can't not only decide on the location but I also can't figure out what I would get. And, at the point, I lose interest until the next spring when the weather gets nicer out.

Maybe I'll get the BF's name in braille....

What tattoo did you just get or would like to get done?

cookout spree

Monday, July 6, 2009
Let me first say I love this summer so far and not working on Sundays. It's a-m-a-z-i-n-g and I'm having such a blast.

On Thursday, the BF and I celebrated my online friend's (yes, that's how Alexa and I met) birthday with a few of her closest friends. Click here for a full recap complete with pictures of the night. We all had delicious meals courtesy and the Greenhouse Tavern and the most chocolicious cake I've had in awhile, and, quite possibly ever.

With the birthday girl


On Friday, the BF and I visited with my parents and brother, finishing off another fantastic meal. We then headed out to Lakewood bars to cause trouble and party with the rest of the west side of Cleveland.

On Saturday (yay for the actual holiday), we attended another cookout with friends. Now, it had all the makings of just a normal cookout - chicken, desserts, wine and beer. It was missing one of the most important elements and that was a fire pit.

My friend Lia to her husband - "Jesse, I told we should've bought a chiminea."
Jesse - "I can go get one now."
Another genius friend - "Don't go buy one, let's just to steal Critty's."

And, that's exactly what we did to roast marshmallows - we "borrowed" our friend's chiminea from his backyard. After we stole it and had a fire going, he showed up and we didn't tell him into a good two hours later.

He kept making references to how "it looked just like his" and "where did you get it at because it looks like mine." The girls (me included) thought it was more funny than the boys did, but we also were drinking a lot more wine and vodka than they were. Yes, we decided to flavor our wine with a little cranberry vodka.

another one bites the dust

Friday, July 3, 2009
Last weekend, we headed east (thanks to the iPhone compass) to Pittsburgh for our friend's wedding - Katie and Morgan.

This is a wedding weekend we've all been excited before because we could tour the city of Pittsburgh in the process. It was one hilarious weekend full of beer, steak, dancing, wine and celebration.

-We arrived around 3 p.m. to make sure the BF could be on time for the rehearsal at the church.
-My trusty friend Michelle and I headed to grab a martini and catch up.
-The rehearsal dinner was at this beautiful restaurant in Pittsburgh called the Le Mont.

The couple

The bride with her bridal party

The groom and his men

enjoying the meal

-We were all up early with mild hangovers and explored the city, going to the park and getting breakfast
-All the boys were running late
-Most of my friends almost missed the shuttle
-The wedding started at 4, we hopped on the last shuttle at 3:40 and we go there at 3:59.
-Like idiots we walked in the side door and the whole church turns to look as the bridal party is starting down the aisle. We shut the door and run to a door further away, rush into a pew, just as our friend started down the aisle.
-The reception was at Heinz field. Such a beautiful set up.
-While getting drinks, my friend falls and hits the ground, crushing her pinky between the floor and wine glass.

walking around in the park

view from the reception

the couple dancing

doing the sprinkler

Kelly with Michelle and her ice pack after falling very hard and filling out an incident report

one of the only pics we grabbed with the bride

After barely getting up on time to make it to brunch, we all did but with major headaches. Or, maybe that was just me. Anyway, it was a perfect ending to an extremely fun weekend.

ball sparkles

Thursday, July 2, 2009
Why is it that girls get to have all the fun with scented and sparkly lotions? Metro men should be able to join in on the action.

Enter ball sparkles - it's sparkly decoration for your manhood. JUST what you were looking for!

Make Your Manhood Sparkle - Watch more Funny Videos

P.S. Thanks, Michelle, for making me cringe and laugh out loud all at the same time. This fauxmercial too hysterical not to post.