Friday Fodder

Friday, February 27, 2009
Being a porn star is the new black, skinny jeans and navy nail polish all wrapped into one beautiful package.

Case in point - Let's think of all the "celebrities" who landed their own reality shows because of their sex tapes. Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton? Kim even sat pretty in the front row at a few shows for Fashion Week. Hell, even Kim's partner, Ray J, has a deal with Vh1. What is wrong with America these days and when can I get my own show?

Not only are they inking TV deals and starring in movies, they are also entering our daily lives through cookbooks, clothes and scents for men and women. I'm telling ya, they are taking over the world and here are a few examples:


Porn Star Cookbook

Put more on your naked body than just sushi rolls for your lover

Heartbreaker perfume by Jenna Jameson
Smell, shower and lotion just like Jenna.

I think I'm only of million of straight girls who flocked to get her book when it was released a few years back. And, I'm pretty sure my roommates and I read several chapters out loud over and over again to each other. It was a coffee table fixture right next to "He's Just Not That Into You." She's gorgeous without all that make-up.

Happy weekending.

take back our love

Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Dear Enrique,

I'm sorry I was unable to make it to this video shoot this past weekend. I know, I know but I had to attend the Mom 2.0 Summit conference, hang out with awesome moms, eat cheeseburgers and wear a Burger King bag on my head.

Anyway, Ciara wasn't a horrible choice to replace me in our duet - I'll forgive you. But, just so you know, I would never throw your clothes or expensive artwork into the pool.

Maybe we'll catch up the next time I'm in L.A.

XOXO,
Allison


respect your elders

Tuesday, February 24, 2009
"Do I look like a frat boy?" asks the BF as we are leaving to go to dinner yesterday.

"I mean, maybe? Why are you asking? Let's go, I'm hungry," I say as I plug in my cell before it dies.

"But do you? Do I look like a frat boy?" he says, clearly not satisfied with my previous answer.

"Um, well you were part of that lame group, so yes, I guess you do look like a frat boy," I say, still wanting to leave the apartment because my stomach is growling. "Are you asking me because of the way you have that scarf tied?"

"No. Why? What's wrong with my scarf?" he says self-conscious of the scarf and his frat boy nature now.

"Nevermind," I mumble. "I'm listening."

"This little punk in the library called me 'frat boy' under his breath as he walked by. I don't think he realized that I was older than a frat boy, so I glared at him, slowly turning my head and gave him 'I can kick your ass' look," he says, very proud of himself.

"You were going to get into it with a pubescent teenager in the library?" I say laughing and picturing the BF glaring at this poor kid and his friend.

"Yes, I was going to get into it with him because he needs to respect his elders..... fuckin' punk."


And there you have it.

Friday Fodder

Friday, February 20, 2009
Some intelligent person once said "absence makes the heart grow fonder."

If that's true, the BF and I are growing all over the place. This is my third and final weekend (I think) that I'm traveling for work. Before, I was at the PBR hanging out with buckle bunnies and for the next two days, I'm in Houston for work for the Mom 2.0 Summit, meeting and greeting with fellow bloggers in 70 degree weather.

Kiss, Kiss BF and see you Saturday night.

Because everyone is doing it

Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Remember that old saying of...Don't shit where you eat? Hmm... ring a bell. Well, I'm guilty of doing that not once but indirectly twice in the work environment. The most recent time has worked out well because we were sly in the way we started our courtship. We weren't dramatic, over the top or called unnecessary attention to ourselves. For more rules, see this article from Marie Claire.

I was super protective about people finding out as well. If we were at a work function, we would arrive and leave separately, careful not to raise any eyebrows of my fellow coworkers. At one point, we had dinner arranged with his parents and the mutual location was the office where they were to pick us up at. I moved my car around to another building, parked and had them pick me up there. That part might've been a little over the top, but I didn't want to draw any negative attention to the situation.

In retrospect, people probably could tell what was going on between us, especially if they were dating coworkers, too. They knew the game because they played it. But in my mind, no one knew anything was going on and I continued to deny it when abruptly asked by a few females.

My typical response - "Me? Him? No way. I can see how you may think that, but it's untrue. We aren't dating."

And I think we kept the secret a good 7 months into our relationship when we both became more comfortable.

Lesson learned ladies - If you are going to court your coworkers, be sly about it, don't hang around his office like a lovesick kitten and be sure NOT to sleep with him in the actual office.

sugar sugar

Monday, February 16, 2009




I bought, I made and I baked. The only thing I forgot was pink dye and sprinkles. Dammit. I'll remember that for next time.

Bless you, ALDO

Sunday, February 15, 2009

It seems that people generally like to complain when shitty things happen, not excluding me of course. For instance, I was pissed when my flight was delayed an hour from Houston to Cleveland yesterday and I also pissed when TSA took my coconut lime verbana body lotion, and, even more pissed when they chucked my Aveda brilliance hair cream. That stuff costs money.

Well, enough about complaining. You know what makes me happy? When I have an amazing customer service experience. Nothing makes me more happy than wanting to share customer service that may rival Nordstrom's right now - ALDO.

See, I've never really been a huge fan of ALDO because I think it's over priced and I can usually find better deals on Nine West or BCBG at Marshall's. However, when I was strolling through the mall and saw 50% off boot sale sign, I absolutely had to enter to see if I could score any great deals for my size 9.5-10 feet.

Editor's note: I refuse to pay full price for ANYTHING these days. Nope, won't do it. I want a sale on everything I buy.

Holy amazing deals and customer service from my new friend named Amanda. Not only did she keep showing me boots that would fit my oversized calves, but after 1.5 hours of debating between 3 pairs, she called 6 stores to track these down, ordered me this pair online and is having another pair delivered to the store this week.

I can truly appreciate someone who goes the extra distance knowing she doesn't make commission and when all is said and done, my total will only be around $160.

Now, let's hope they all fit and I'm also going to keep my eyes peeled for the black Tobie or Cassella boots to go on sale.

Friday Fodder

Friday, February 13, 2009
I like to think I'm relatively decent looking, kind of cute and might be worth checking out. However, I don't know if a nude photo of me would ever sell for mucho dinero. I really don't think it would. Maybe one of my calves, but that might be stretching it.

But, look at Madonna collect the money for her photo - $37,500 for a photo of her pre-makeup, vein popping arms and crazy coned bras.

Who knew?

Anyway, she only made $25 for the full frontal picture in 1979 when she was desperate for money. FYI, if I desperately needed money, I would make sure to charge a hell of a lot more than a measily 25 dollars.

Would you photograph nude and how much would you charge for it?

vday is a no day

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Did everyone expect a lovey dovey post of what me and the BF are going to do?

Nope. Not happening this year.

Instead of spending a romantic evening with the BF, I'm going to spend my weekend with bulls, cowboys and dirt again. Yee haw!

In order to make up for my absence, I think I'm going to make some kick ass cupcakes as a Valentine's day present sometime on Sunday. They take forever to make with cream cheese in the middle, but they taste amazing with this homemade frosting which I'm turning pink and purple.

If my pink and purple cupcakes aren't sexy enough for you, jump on over to The Frisky for lots of Vday ideas for you, your significant other and friends.

What do you have planned?

Buckle bunnies

Monday, February 9, 2009
Typically on Mondays, I can't wait to see what my blog friends did over the weekend.

Alexa went to Detroit and won some money.
Katelin watched Pirates of the Carribean and recovered from a CPK coma.
Always a bridesmaid joined 456,454 other women and saw He's Just Not That Into You.

However, no one could beat my weekend of bull riders, 70 degree weather and buckle bunnies. No, I can't claim that catchy phrase as my own. But, I can say, you've never seen groupies until you've seen bull rider groupies.

Because of my job, I was sent to work this weekend in Tallahassee with the Professional Bull Riders. And with these days away, I witnessed some groupie action like no other with some very up close and personal bull action right behind the chute.

Apparently some of these bunnies follow the riders from stop to stop trying to see them, meet them and whatever else with them - you figure it out.

If you want to be a buckle bunny, here's what you have to do -

1)Wear tight jeans, push up bra, cowboy boots and a glittery belt or long ass necklace with dog chains of some type. Extra points are for just tank tops, even if it's only 35 degrees when you walk out of the arena.

2)Must wear makeup. Lots of it. Needs to be completed with faux lashes, lots of tanning and bronzer. It also helps if you can whip out a compact to check your gooey lipgloss and pout your lips at all times in case the camera finds you.

3)Go in groups. The more makeup, hair and sparkly clothes...the better. Those cowboy hats will turn to face you in all your glory. And, you might even end up lucky.

Here's my weekend in pictures and video.

yes, real bulls.


rider mounting the bull.


Rider at "work."
video

Friday Fodder

Friday, February 6, 2009


Relax, put your feet up and get out the botox because it's almost 100% official -

Carrie Bradshaw and her friends will hit the big screen for a sequel of Sex & The City. According to Perez Hilton and his peeps, the movie is a go with the director and the whole cast signed on.

Not sure topics they could tackle next. Carrie has a baby? Miranda cheats on Steve? Samantha marries Richard and Smith is gay? Carrie teaches at NYU? Big goes back to Natasha?

Really though, what else needs to happen? Thoughts?

death to hoodies

Thursday, February 5, 2009
I hate hoodies on guys. Yes, that's right, I'll admit it. I don't like hoodies on grown men. Maybe because I think of a past person who was entirely too old and still wearing Abercrombie hoodies. Blah!

If you are over the age of 21 and still wearing Abercrombie hoodies and cologne, you need a serious kick in the ass if you want to land a girlfriend.

Why the hoodie with colorful designs and lettering? Please don't add a popped collar because then I'll flip my lid. Is your last name Gotti?

Don't you think a fitted sport coat from Banana Republic would do? Or another type of light jacket? Hell, it can be Old Navy for that matter but adding the hoodie for comfort takes your age and penis size down about 5 years and inches.

Let's look at some images to prove my point.

Take this gentleman. Imagine how much hotter he would be with a sport coat.

This guy almost has it right - minus the fact the forgot to take his hoodie off before he put on the sport coat. Are you cold or something?


I'm afraid to look directly at him with this zipped up.


What style do men hate? And stop saying skinny jeans because we like that our legs look like suctioned sausages.

ride or die

Tuesday, February 3, 2009
I have friends that always do things for their boyfriends. Nice thoughtful things all the time. Unfortunately, I'm not very warm and fuzzy so you won't see me purchasing boxers or tiny teddy bears anytime this year for Valentine's day, or any day for that matter.

But, I am willing to try new things and hang out in the BF's element. After all, he did accompany me to the Cleveland Art Museum for the Tiffany exhibit for my birthday.

I was oh so lucky to attend the motorcycle show this past weekend in Cleveland. I was new to the scene last year and didn't know what to expect from this show. I also didn't realize the amount of walking either, so I wore comfortable Pumas versus anything with a heel this year.

I went with my BF, met my parents who purchased a Harley last year and another couple - she shared the same love of bike shows that I do.

Instead of taking pictures of our BFs on the bikes like so many other women were, we were the ones off the to side chatting about anything and everything - there's a lot of people watching to be had. We only would move when the BFs would motion for us to follow them or we noticed that it's been 20 minutes and they were nowhere to be found. Plus, you can't deny the fashion happening there - chaps, shrunken leather jackets and boots OH MY!

Here are some sample shots of the day.

Here's the BF trying on a coat.


Here's one of the many awesome outfits and hair styles.


Here's me standing by the awesome outfit and filling out to a chance to win a $500 gas card.

love note

Monday, February 2, 2009
Don't you just love when your significant other sends you a little note or e-mail to you for no particular reason? Me too.

Received this morning:
You can't leave food uncovered in the fridge. This is how shit goes bad. You took out the lettuce and threw it back in the fridge completely open. Next time you will receive a very serious Indian burn!


He didn't sign his name, but you know he was thinking, "love BF."