gym personalities

Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Let-a-me-tell-you-about my workout.

As I was running my four miles yesterday around the track, (yep, 4) I noticed how many people don't understand running etiquette on a track.

It's not hard.


Or at least I don't think it is.

When you get on the track, there are signs that let you know the direction for the day and the inner lanes are for walkers and the outer lanes are for runners.

Now, I'm not sure which part people don't understand. Maybe it's distinguishing between the inner and outer lanes or perhaps the day of the week is what stumps them?

We have these people at my gym and I'm sure you have them at yours. They are the people that keep me laughing. They are the people that make my 34th lap more interesting than my 33rd.

On yesterday's run, I was particularly pleased when these high school girls (bless their hearts) jumped on the track. They clearly didn't read the sign. They both decided to walk on the outer lanes at a very slow pace in matching short shorts and shoes. What they didn't know is that there were a few serious runners on the track today. (I'm not including myself in this batch.)

At one point, when the 6 foot blond guy ran past them, he said something to them because he spooked her and with a flip of a ponytail she said some smart remark to her slow walker friend. I couldn't hear because I was too far away but whatever it was, it wasn't enough to get their dumb asses on the inner lanes.

My other favorite personality was also on the track. It's the I-have-to-pick-up-my-cell-phone-and-answer-every-call person. I think she only answers the phone when she is on the track. I don't even think she actually "works out." I still love her though. I secretly hope she is on the track when I have my long runs because she has some drama going on with whomever is on the other line. She gets really into her conversations and takes up two lanes the way she struts and pumps her arms for extra emphasis away from her body, almost taking out a runner if you get too close.

What are your favorite gym personalities?
I can't be the only one, right? And, I don't mean the meatheads working out in jeans and Timberlands. I'm talking about the serious gym rats that are pure entertainment because to know them is to love them.


~*~Lilly~*~ said...

Okay - but seriously the jeans and timberland dudes kill me every time i see them!

But mine are as follows: & by favorite i mean the ones i make fun of the most at home. lol

1) the old lady who wears club boobie shirts to workout in with full jewelry & makeup. I swear she is still trying to live on in her glory years. lol

2) the dude that every day wears that nylon stretchy beanie & he's all serious until the day he must have forgot it and dude has a big old hot mess under that beanie! I swear he doesn't owe a comb or a mirror.

3)The little super short meathead who is oh so serious about his pumping iron. He's like 4'11 and as wide as he is tall & slightly feminine.

4)The overly gay dominican guy who puts way to much movement into the stair stepper routine & it generally looks like he's practicing his drag show for later on that evening. Oh plus he sings....sings as he steps.


heisschic said...

heh this miiight be one of your hs girls,

but this hs/early college girl comes into the gym around the same time i do on sundays... 5ish. she starts getting ready around the same time i do. by the time im done with my run AND shower, she's ALMOST ready to go workout. she makes sure every last hair is in place before starting her "workout" around 6:30.

so after and hour and a half of getting ready, she looks good enough to work out at 6:30.

oh- and the gym closes at 7.

i almost want to stick around to see what her "going home" routine is like.

Mel said...

OMG. I HATE the girls who wear make-up to work out.

And with Lilly, those who wear jewelry. I mean, I can understand if you have a necklace that you forgot to take off or something, but how is that even sanitary OR comfortable where with all that sweaty.

I also hate guys who think we do not know how to use the equipment. Go bother some other bimbo who may play dumb to get your attention. Ew.

There used to be this guy in the mornings (yeah, I used to run for two HOURS in the mornings at 5am before work. What?) who would hang out behind my treadmill thinking I would be close to finishing. What he didn't know is that when my first hour passed, I was just starting up again to run for another hour. Eventually, he would give up and leave. But he would stand there for at least 15 minutes holding a towel, pretending to watch TV! So creepy.

JulieM said...

How about the ladies who think it's appropriate to wear only sports bras and spandex? Seems milfs and cougars are the only ones who think this is okay.. We get it, you're 35+ and have the body of a 20 year old. Good for you..But please wear more clothes.

Maureen said...

Walkers in the outside lane drive me NUTS! No one at Urban Active - Crocker Park understands what the outside lane is! No one. I also "love" the people walking in three's and blocking 1 and a half lanes of the 2 lane track.

But my biggest pet peeve by far is girls with long hair that leave their hair down when working out!!! WTF. That would drive my nuts. In fact, I think I've left the gym before because I didn't have a hair tie and refuse to workout with my hair down.

You know who this girl is: hair down, tons of make-up, push-up bra instead of sports bra and sometimes she is wearing a baseball cap because GOD FORBID someone might see her sweating.

Oh and one more character, girls (who are usually dressed like the one described above) that go in the free weight section just to giggle and pretend to lift but really they just want attention from the guys.

Janiece said...

oh man these are my favorite people!!!! a couple of my favs...

1) the girl who makes her own workout clothes. she wears such colorful patterned tops and then she makes bell bottom solid color stretch pants. the key tho is she makes a belt out of the same fabric as the top and even inserts some into the bottom of the legs to really give them extra flare!

2) the guy with huge arms and a huge belly who wears a cutoff shirt that says i love strippers on the back

3) the girl who is constantly on the treadmill running for hours and DOES NOT SWING HER ARMS! it creates a whole new appreciation for old seinfeld episodes.

Lauren said...

How about the guy who gets all set up for spinning in the bike right in front of me, and then right before class, drops trou (causing me to whip my head around in disgust) only to reveal true bike shorts? And yes, he WAS wearing a LIVESTRONG bracelet.

OR the woman who never warms up or cools down, but insists on coming into aerobics right in the middle, setting her step up next time mine and literally HITTING ME IN THE FACE with a loop-de-loop arm move.

Why wont all the fat people go home yet? You know you are just going to quit in a few months anyway- quit now and get out of my way!!!!

Cara said...

I think I might be a gym personality. I'm the only person I know who leaves their workout early b/c they're hungry. I'm pretty sure it cancels out the little "jog" or elliptical thing I just did.

I also find it necessary to construct the perfect, indestructible ponytail to work out. Yes, I know that sounds annoying, but I can't help myself.

Chip Warren said...

Ignorant people who interfere with others' working out; mostly new years resolution - spring break get in shape folks....Glad I have my own kettlebell studio!!!

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

You know what gets me at the gym? The big fat guy at the reception desk when I am checking in that says to me "I should have waited and worked out with you" WTH? Do I know you? And why would I work out with you?

Lil' Woman said...

I work at a hotel gym and I can go on for days with the woozies that come in here. They're ridiculous!

Christina K said...

Um, what about the weirdo guys who
"crash" almost all-girl Urban's tall short shorts guy who yells whoop every two seconds and claps often?

Amy said...

Just read this and feel compelled to commment, b/c nothing irritates me more than idiot gym-goers.
1.) The guy who drinks Red Bull (Red Bull?!) while ellipticizing wearing a hooded sweatshirt with the hood up.
2.) the "Ab Fab Twins" - two dudes who do synchronized ab moves - not in one of the exercise rooms, but out in the open for everyone to see.
3.) The weight guy who lifts wayyyy more than his scrawny arms can handle - even this weight novice knows he has bad form.

Molls said...

Chris had the same complaint about the gym track.

I can't stand all the people on their cell phones. Focus on your workout dude.

Bethany said...

I enjoy the dudes who do one curl, and then sit on the machine looking aorund for about 23 minutes before moving on. I've had to kick them off.

OH! And there's always a fat lady in brown stretch pants that match her skin EXACTLY making you think she isn't wearing any. Gross.