we can just be friends. right?

Friday, December 9, 2011
ahhhhhh, the age old debate - can women and men just be friends?

Oddly enough a few weeks ago, a few male coworkers and I were having this exact discussion at the lunch table. We discuss all important topics at lunch at my work like was Kim Kardashian's marriage a sham, has Gaga jumped the shark and other important headlines in pop culture. It keeps us on our toes!

I can't recall how this topic came up but I swear my coworker Kevin keeps these topics in his head ready for when a group of us gather and actually eat lunch instead of in a meeting or at our desks. I believe we netted out somewhere where this video did, but we had a bit more yelling, finger pointing and laughing.  I, like the naive girls on camera, thought, "well yeah, we can just be friends," (duh!) as I clearly pointed out all my male friends and my male colleagues pointed out that, in fact, I was wrong because no guys just want to be friends. (Apparently married guy friends don't count in their book.)

I can count on several hands how many male friends I have who a) I've never hooked up with b) never thought about hooking up with and c) who are just friends who happen to be guys. Men act like they want to be friends but according to my trusty male coworkers, if they had a chance, most guys would make moves on their supposed friends.

While this video is shot at a college where the median age is probably 20, we were anywhere from 26 to 31 at the lunch table and still had similar reactions. Apparently, all guys would hook up with girls they deem friends but really it's just girls they haven't hooked up with, if they had the opportunity.

So, for a serious discussion on a Friday, can girls just be friends with guys and vice versa?


Ashley // Our Little Apartment said...

I'm pretty much with the guys on this one. ;)

Though I do have a good friend at work who's a guy - BUT he's married and we never text or hang out outside of work. So...I think we're safe. :)

Hungry In Cleveland said...

This post so reminds me of "When Harry Met Sally". I personally believe they can be. One of my best friends is a guy and nothing has ever happened between us.

CLEshopaholic said...

Married friends don't count bc the option is taken off the table. I used to believe they could but if both are single, at least one party has thought about the hookup. FOR SURE!!

Mel said...

The problem with that statement -- that any guy, given the opportunity, would sleep with his female friend -- assumes that the guy would sleep with anything that walks.

Most women have a "type" of person they would date/be attracted to, and wouldn't sleep with just anyone, even for the sake of exploiting a friendship -- and females can be similarly generalized (ever hear "all women are crazy"???), much like men in this example. Shocker: there are men on this planet who are not whores. And assuming that ALL men are the same is archaic thinking and leads to this sort of nonsense. Short story: yes, I have male friends. Also yes, I have male friends who I have either slept with or haven't slept with. Has no base on the friendship; it's the mutual attraction.

And frankly, I'd hate to be an adult male lumped into this same group of men. Know what I'm saying?
(If this doesn't make sense, I'm sorry. I'm kinda hungover and comprehensive-thought lacking today lol)

Mer said...

Possible for reals. One of my best high school friends is a guy. We have never been more then friends. I am neither blonde nor tiny, so I'm not really his type anyway :)

Anonymous said...

I think "can" is the operational word here. CAN men & women be just friends? Sure. But is the core or root of it strictly platonic? Doubtful. And doubtful from both sides. If given the opportunity, most men AND women would probably take advantage of a chance to "take it to the next level" with a good, trustworthy person they respect. Self-control and respect for the other person is what keeps most of us - men or women- from doing so, however.

But CAN it be avoided? Sure.

Lil' Woman said...

I have to go with what anonymous said...I think at the heart of it, if two 'friends' are single there might be something on either end to kick it up a notch but self control keeps them from doing it.

Charlene Ann said...

My best friend is male and we've been best friends for 15 years. At one point have we both liked each other - yes. But we both got over it and now he's married and things are completely brother-sisterly. And I love it that way.
I do think though that our relationship is the exception - definitely not the norm.

Jessica (Bayjb) said...

Here's the thing, I have TWO male friends, who are only friends. I have kissed only one of them but it was NYE and we were drunk. It meant nothing and never happened again. So yes, I think it is possible.

BUT, at one point, you will have romantic inklings, interests or even a crush on that other person. It's normal. But that doesn't mean you have to act on them